Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Done Done Done with Breastfeeding - 14 Months

Done Nursing - Bittersweet

I am done with nursing. I quit at 14 months. Why am I so bummed?

I mean, nursing is a LOT of work.

A lot.

I won't sugarcoat it.

I will also tell you it's the most amazing bonding experience.
I'm still happy:) P.S. One of my daddy's patients made this train for me.

The first time I experienced nursing I spent several LONG minutes, sometimes HOURS trying to figure it out each and EVERY time...and there were a lot of times (try 11+ times a day).

You will sweat and your neck begins to hurt, your back aches. Your nips go raw, they bleed....they scream at you in pain. Then you finish a session (success!) ONLY to do it all over again an hour or two later. Your life REVOLVES around nursing that first month (OK...Truth? Try more like the first 6 months), or until you get the hang of it. It's nuts. Then you start pumping. And you are so doggone tired that the last thing you want to do is wake up in the middle of the night to PUMP after a nurse session. But you do. And you don't know how you're doing it. You don't even know who you are anymore. A feeding machine? A milk maker?

Then you have pump parts to clean. And bottles to wash out and bags to fill with milk and label and to stack just perfectly in the freezer. Then you move those into a gallon bag and mark it up and put it in the deep freezer...and wash more pump parts and bottles. And not to mention the HUGE pump bag you have to carry to and from work every day, along with lunch and your coffee or tea... Heaven forbid the wires pop off in the parking lot. And the times you have to leave a meeting or go pump throughout the day at work. The comments people will make...You learn a different approach to working.

So yes, nursing is a lot of work.

But it's also amazing. It's between mom and baby. You learn to SLOW down. To APPRECIATE your body. Appreciate LIFE. To LOVE your body. It helps you transition into a motherly role more... Or at least it did for me. I was forced to sit down. I was forced to stop and focus on Jackson and Jackson alone. I studied him at all hours of the night. We bonded in a way nobody else will get to. There are other ways besides nursing to feel that connection, but it truly has been a special time. And in the bigger realm of things, it's only a year. I look back and I feel like that went fast. But I also look back and get nervous about having to do that ALL OVER AGAIN in the coming years... So yes, it does feel like a year, but no it doesn't. Did I clear that up? Ha.

After Jackson's first birthday, he was only nursing in the morning and night. I took away the morning nurse and kept that nighttime feeding for as long as I could. Then last Wednesday came and Jackson decided to use me as a chew toy. And the next night. And then the next. I couldn't take it anymore so I stopped. He went down just fine. We instead read books and snuggled. Then did our nightly prayers and he was out. Just like that. Since he's been born, I've let him take the lead and it's worked out great. But he is also a very strong-willed little man.

Now for me... OUCH. My right side is fine, the left...it's a bag full of marbles and huge. I just hope the pain goes away...

All I can say is I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yiiippppppeeeee!!! Now, to enjoy this summer and have a few cocktails without too many worries. Don't worry, I'll behave:)


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