Thursday, July 10, 2014
Head to heel, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — a pound and a half — isn't much more than an average rutabaga, but she's beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As she does, her wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and she'll start to look more and more like a newborn. She's also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you'd now be able to discern its color and texture.
The dreaded night-time leg cramps are BACK. NOOOO!
I almost forgot how PAINFUL these are. I drank EXTRA water yesterday to avoid these cramps at ALL COST and was OK last night, but the night before was brutal. 3 a.m. and they came on STRONG. I couldn’t get them to go away. The only thing that seemed to work was chugging tons and tons of water (which means I was up even MORE peeing). My foot literally froze and I couldn’t move it. My entire shin muscle hardens, grows into a ball and then I roar.
Well then, around 4 Jackson stood at the edge of the bed and stared at me. Bad dream? Scared of the dark? The smoke detector?
I promise I wasn’t screaming from the leg cramps loud enough to wake anyone else. Karl barely knows what’s going on half the time when I’m up stretching and hobbling around and screaming into the pillows.
I pulled Jackson into our bed. He did the same last night, but I put him back into his bed. I don’t want this to become a habit.
But now I’ve been reminded how getting up multiple times throughout the night makes me VERY tired and makes for some LONG hard days. So of course, I’m freaking myself out remembering how tough those first few months really are. Wondering how I'm going to do it? And this time I have another little person to give a lot of attention to. Akkk.
Jackson had a full on tantrum this morning too. Whining is hard for me. I don’t like it. Who does? His daycare has been wonderful with giving us tips on how to handle this behavior. He decided he wanted cereal this morning. Great. A decision!!! I like to give him a choice. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea anymore. He spilled because he refuses to be pushed in closer to the table. So he threw his spoon. Milk went everywhere. I TRIED to ignore. I TRIED to be patient. Then he decided he wanted pancakes. So I heated up those.
Then he was mad he couldn’t fork a piece of the pancake so the fork flew across the room. And he sobbed. I again ignored. I brought him back his fork. He then pushed me over the edge by jabbing the fork and leaving all these little holes in our BRAND NEW TABLE over and over and over again. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I yelled. Told him "no". He bawled and bawled. I went in the next room and finished folding laundry. I needed to breathe. I was so mad. What happened to our happy mornings? I’m already giving him away to someone else to watch so I cherish our mornings together and I feel so guilty when they aren’t good mornings. He carried on for quite a while. I told him I’d talk to him when he was done crying and whining. He didn’t stop. He was a basket case. I took him out of his seat and marched upstairs. He was now gasping for air. Saying he’d listen. I was still so mad. SO what did I do? I bawled my eyes out. Lovely. I just couldn’t take it anymore. PLUS, I’m hormonal and tired and feel HUGE.
ANYWAY, before I left for work I sat down with him and explained why I was so upset and we hugged and made up. But holy hell. Please tell me this won’t be an every morning deal? Part of me thinks he’s overtired! He’s been up later and up earlier. He’s in his big boy bed. He’s getting up during the night. Now he keeps telling me “No baby!” So I think he knows… MORE change is coming.
He’s a smart kid. He is.
So there’s where we are at 25 weeks. I’m pretty exhausted. But this morning I threw my workout clothes in my bag. I HAVE TO GO. I haven’t been since May. I know working out seems to exhaust me even more, but I need to do this FOR ME. This seems to be the only "ME TIME" I get right now. I need to RELAX and working out is the one thing that seems to do that for me. So we'll see how this goes.
Here's to a better week next week...