But I think it's more than that.
Without getting crazy religious, I think God knows who we are and who we can become and created us for a purpose. Maybe it doesn't make complete sense because some humans don't even get the chance to live a full life. However, those who've been given the gift of life are granted free will, meaning we get to make most of our own choices (depending on age and circumstance) and can design our own little journey. And I think that's pretty cool.
I've always wondered why I never wanted to become a firefighter or a pilot or a teacher, etc. Instead, I've always wanted to be a writer. And that feeling hasn't gone away, it gets stronger with every passing year. I mean, at one time I wanted to play volleyball in the Olympics, but I knew I wasn't good enough. There is a difference. Maybe this is how Taylor Swift felt when she persuaded her parents to move to Tennessee or Johnny Cash when he sang a song from the heart and scored a record deal. Something moved these people to keep after their dreams, no matter the amount of rejections.
I want to believe something or someone is pushing me to follow my dream(s). With that said, 2011 is right around the corner and that means resolutions! I feel like I need to get some of my goals written down so I'm held accountable throughout the year and can go back and check them off one by one. Here they are in no particular order.
1. Receive representation for my book
2010 was all about writing my first ever manuscript, all 330 pages of it. This was a huge challenge and journey - but once completed, something inside of me grew. I became hungry for more. A deep passion was birthed. If I lived in a perfect world, I'd set up shop in our house and write all day (that's how fun writing my manuscript was), but to pay the bills I need to hold my job and balance the dreaming. In 2011, I plan to query my manuscript off to agencies and intend to touch my book and smell the pages. I want to have book signings and walk into Barnes and Noble and see my book on the shelves. One step at a time.
2. Travel somewhere new
I love seeing all parts of the world, especially with my husband. I enjoy exploring with him and building memories. In 2010 we concluded our amazing trip to South Africa and took a week's vacation along the west coast (Northern California, Oregon and Washington) in August. Who knows where 2011 will take us(fingers crossed it's somewhere warm). I've always wanted to go to Hawaii...
3. Start a family
Just so you all know, this goal scares me to death. I don't want to lose my freedom - I'm still very much selfish, but I do want to see what we can create and what they'll look like and who they'll become. Plus, I'm not getting any younger. I know the chances of having children drops once women hit 35, and that age isn't far away. I'm scared to lose sleep, my body, patience and myself. Most of all, I'm worried our marriage will change. Right now we're able to do whatever we want, whenever we want and we have so much fun!!! I have a feeling that spontaneity will go away. Plus, I have a hard enough time trying to keep up with everything going on and only have to do laundry once a week and cook for two and clean whenever my schedule allows. I'm semi-aware of what having a child means and know it's going to be hard - very hard - so this means I'll work my ass off at making the experience precious. Am I scared. Very. Ready? Not so. Are we ever? Probably not. But I think it'll be awesome, stretch marks and all.
4. Start a recipe portfolio/blog
I love health and fitness and cooking healthy meals. Sometimes I even impress myself with the recipes I piece together. I take a recipe from a magazine or a cookbook, and make it healthier. I love colorful meals with tons of flavor. I think it'd be fun to take snapshots of our faves, write out the ingredients and start a "family" recipe book. Watch for this in 2011.
5. Get an article in a magazine
I subscribe to 10 or 15 magazines. It's a bit of an obsession. I can't remember the exact number anymore. In 2011, I want to open one of them up and see an article written by me.
6. Say "no" more and do things for me
I have a tendency to say 'yes' to others simply because it'll make them feel better. It may make them happier, but it makes me insane. Why do I do that to myself? The older I get, the things that matter are doing those things I genuinely want to. I need to listen to that voice telling me 'no', and form the sounds and actually say it. I've learned people are highly capable of doing things themselves, but find it easier to ask someone else for help rather than learning themselves. I'm guilty of this as well. But I have my own life to live and dreams to chase after. My life would be a lot less complicated if I just said NO more.
7. Get organized
Part of the reason I feel so scatterbrained is because my husband has a chunk of his stuff packed away in his town home. Yes, as in...it's been there for over a year and a half now. That's another nightmare - I wish we could sell, but I try to remind myself we'll be fine and it'll sell when it's supposed to. Not only that, but I'm a pile person. I have piles everywhere: on the carpet, in the corner, on our island. Why? I need to purge it all and that's my plan for 2011. Get rid of stuff and start a filing system!
8. Stop biting my nails
What can I say? I'm an addict. But it's time I let the damn things grow already!
9. Flush out the bad with the good
Karl and I are going to try and metals detox. Karl had to pee in a jug for 24 hours. The results: he had high levels of arsenic and platinum in his body. Ewww! I'm nervous but excited since I do not believe in those liquid detoxes one bit. This one is a 30-day program. No, we won't be starving ourselves, but will be eating really healthy foods (like grass fed meats, filtered water, raw veggies) and taking some cleansing pills that are supposed to pull the metals out. I'm excited to try this. More to come...
What are some of your goals for 2011 and how will you hold yourself accountable?
"I wish you sunshine on your path and storms to season your journey. I wish you peace - in the world in which you live and in the smallest corner of the heart where truth is kept... More I cannot wish you except perhaps love - to make all the rest worthwhile." - Robert Ward