They still seem to work out in the end.
I spent every single day for nine months freaking out about daycare. Then all the worrying became a reality once Jackson was born. I spent three whole months hoping and wishing I’d find a way to spend every single day with Jackson once my maternity leave ran out. But every morning I inched just a little closer to the inevitable.
|Jackson getting his morning hug from Eleanor, Jenna's youngest.|
|Jackson Happy at Daycare|
|Jackson with the crew (i.e. Jenna's sweet kids) at Daycare. Loving his new friends.|
The week before I went back to work, I really started to panic. I’d cry cooking dinner, showering, on our walks. I knew my day’s home with Jackson were ending and I’d have to go back to a place that would not compare to the awesomeness of being with him. And I knew I’d miss Jackson like crazy. Life did not seem fair one bit.
|Flirting with Jenna|
|I love Jenna! She is so good to me!|
I allowed myself two weeks to feel anger. Resentment. To feel sad. Even jealousy toward whomever I wanted. Karl. All the mothers who got to stay at home. Myself. The lady in size zero pants, driving a BMW SUV with three kids. I let myself FEEL whatever I needed to feel to get through it. Who cares if I sounded crazy. I needed to FEEL.
If I was still upset and feeling bad, I’d re-evaluate in two weeks. I shocked myself by being OK where things were even before the two weeks were up. I never thought I’d get there, but I did.