Travel Often

“I see my path, but I don’t know where it leads. Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it.” — Rosalia de Castro

Love Deeply, but Laugh Along the Way

"Happiness is only real when shared." - Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

View Marriage as an Adventure

"Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage." ~Finnish Proverb

Fuel your body with GOOD (It's the only one you get)

He who has health has hope; and he who has hope has everything. - Arabian Proverb

Open your Soul to Motherhood

A Grand Adventure is About to Begin - Winnie the Pooh

A New Kind of Love is Born

Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Day our Life Changed - Month One

written August 10, 2011
31 days (i.e. four weeks)

I'm pregnant.

This week marks the beginning of the embryonic period. From now until 10 weeks, all of your baby's organs will begin to develop and some will even begin to function. As a result, this is the time when she'll be most vulnerable to anything that might interfere with her development. Right now your baby is an embryo the size of a poppy seed, consisting of two layers: the epiblast and the hypoblast, from which all of her organs and body parts will develop. (info found on

2 lines means YES
I know. I'm just as speechless too. It's weird for me to write those words but it's also very exciting. We've known for a little over 24-hours now and I wanted to capture every moment.  For those who can't handle "open book" personalities or tend to be more private or shy away from my kind of people, this probably isn't the blog to be reading. Because I am that person.

Yesterday (Tuesday, Aug. 9, 2011) was pure insanity ever since we found out. From my dentist adventure to some crazy career possibilities to my three AOL article deadlines to trying to focus on work to going to a happy hour with my besties to keeping it from them, I never had a moment to let it all sink in.

It is sinking in now as I write this and I can't stop smiling!

I figure I could keep a little blog journal of our journey since I love to write, I always wondered what was going on in my mom's head when I was in her tummy and I have absolutely NO idea what I'm doing or about to get myself into. I've maybe changed a diaper once in my life. I've held a baby a handful of times and most of the time they never stop crying. I don't work with babies or kids. In short: I'm as clueless as they come.

Let's start from the beginning.

My first thought. Wow. This did not take long at all. I figured since I'm a little older (32) and from what I read - the average couple (age 25) takes around five months to conceive - we would need around that much time and more. It seemed our chances were going down the older we got and we'd best get going. We started trying late June into July and nothing happened. For a second I thought, oh shoot...what if this does take months, even years? But then I reminded myself that was only one month and I didn't know all the rules of ovulation. What I did know was I'm healthy - I've been healthy most of my entire life (minus Toppers binges at UW-Whitewater every Thursday, Friday and Saturday for three years). I do eat really really good. I exercise a lot. And I've been "regular" my entire life. All good signs. So part of me did know it was going to happen. But again...not THIS fast.

My second thought. Dear God what did we just do? Ha. But honestly, the room did swirl a little bit and my heart echoed in my ears. I stopped breathing. This is it. Life is going to change from this point forward. Can I do this? Well, obviously God thinks I'm ready. So it's time to get my butt in gear and start believing in myself.

My third thought. I swear TOM (time of the month) is coming. Is that pee test accurate?? I sent a text to Karl the night before right as I left work and headed off to sand volleyball. "Dude - will have to take a test before tomorrow since I have a dentist appointment. Prob nothing."

Yet, I felt head achy. My "girls" were a bit sore. And I was cramping. Felt like my little friend was coming. I even took a Midol. Figured I'd for sure be getting it while I was playing volleyball that night. Monday, Aug. 8, was day 29 of no TOM. Strange enough, the past two months TOM has arrived on day 29.

No TOM after volleyball. Hmmm. Weird. And I had energy. I never have energy when TOM comes. But my mom did just supply me with a slew of vitamins over the past month...

However, that Saturday I exercised a lot (and seriously I don't remember the last time I felt SO ENERGETIC playing volleyball) and figured all my sweating affected my cycle. But this probably explains why after playing volleyball for eight hours in 80+ degree sunny weather I felt like a Mack Truck hit me on Sunday. I couldn't even get out of bed for church. I had never in my life felt so tired, so exhausted, so cranky. Figured it was dehydration, but boy was I peeing a lot.

My fourth thought. Oh, Karl's gonna love this one. Woke up at 5:45 on Tuesday morning Aug. 9 - my brother's 34th b-day and my younger brother's 3rd wedding anniversary. And to top it all off, the weather was ridiculously awesome. Life felt good.

Like usual, after rolling out of bed, I grabbed my BlackBerry and shuffled into the bathroom. This time I grabbed the pee stick. Peed on it and set it to the side as I scrolled through my texts, tweets, Facebook posts, two email accounts. I quickly looked over about 15 seconds later and there are TWO LINES. TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is when the room got quiet ( was already quiet but it felt like I was in a tunnel actually). My heart pounded through the chest and I sat up. I shuffled (LOUDLY) over to our bed. Was hoping Karl's telepathy was working. Nope. He was sleeping soundly. "I AM PREGNANT," I whisper (loudly).

Covers fly off - his face scrunches - forehead wrinkles..."WHAT?!" He stares at me like I'm an alien. Then his face cracks and the biggest smile EVER appears on his face. I melt into him on the bed and wish I scheduled the damn dentist for a different day. I could lay in bed with him forever. Life is good. God is good. My man is made of awesomeness.

My fifth thought. I CAN'T WAIT to tell our parents. Like...I can't even explain how excited I am right now. Tears spring to my eyes every time I think about it. The first grandchild for both our parents!!! I feel so blessed. And I have this whole new appreciation for my mom. This is going to be FUN. Remind me I wrote that when I'm hugging the porcelain bus.

4 weeks preg and ready to run!
My sixth thought. "Anything different in your health?" the dental hygienist asks as she shoves a notepad in my face. "I just need a signature."

"I'm pregnant," I say in this weird hoarse voice that sounds nothing like mine.

Her eyes bulge.

"I know! I just found out an hour ago. I'm still in shock." Voice turns shaky.

"This is great news! How exciting!!! Congrats," her voice rises.

I feel like shushing her. I mean, she knows before my parents do!!!!! What if someone's in the office I know and knows someone who knows someone and it ends up on Facebook!?!? I realize I'm overexagerating and smile and let her poke at my teeth. The dentist comes by. "Why aren't there any new X-Rays?"

I go through the whole story with him. He gets excited. "You are so smart for taking a test before you came in here. You know how many people don't?" He pats me on the back and I feel like I just received an A+. Thanks doc!

My seventh thought. I need to make a girl doctor appointment. I walk down the hall and schedule an appointment for my OB-GYN. The two nurses keep shrieking with joy and I keep reminding them it's still early. They ask for the first day of my last period. July 11. "You're four weeks!" the nurse smiles. "Let's get you and your husband in for an ultrasound on week eight."

We get to see the heartbeat? Holy crap!!!

"That's it?" I ask, trying to play it all cool. I don't need to make sure? Don't I need to be told to stop drinking coffee and stuff? Aren't you going to make me get blood work?

"Take your vitamins and we'll see you in eight weeks."

Okay then! Buh-bye wine tasting Fridays.

My eighth thought. I want to tell the world. I want everyone to know. We both do. But we both know a lot of people who have experienced miscarriages and know this could/can happen to us at any time. So I'm not sure what the plan is. I just feel like screaming from the rooftops! In the meantime I drove into Minneapolis after work feeling like a rag doll (i.e. exhausted). I meet my two besties Kimbra and Hoover for happy hour. Kimbra asks me what I want to drink as I race for the bathroom for the millionth time that day. "Nothing!" I shout back. She so knows, I think. I come back. "I can't drink. We're trying and I shouldn't be drinking." Brows raise.

Note to self: my friends are smart.

I'm not sure how many times through the night Kimbra asked when I'm going to tell her if I'm preg. Lying is never fun, but I really want mom and dad to know first and good friends usually can read right through stuff like that, right? So...sorry girls! But I'm sure you figured it out anyway.

My ninth thought. Holy crap we have a lot of stuff ahead of us. Where do we even start? I don't know. All I know is Karl's going to be an awesome dad. This baby is going to be LOVED to the max. And my life is about to enter a whole new level of crazy. Like crazy. And I'm pretty sure I will not be able to have six jobs going on at once anymore. It's time to figure life out.

My tenth thought. I have no idea what I'm doing. God help me.

Then I flipped my calendar today and it reads:

Life's short and we never have enough time for the hearts of those who travel the way with us. O, be swift to love! Make haste to be kind.

- Henri Frederic Amiel