I begged him to stay. I saw this amazing light, like the most incredible sunset imaginable. Then this presence of warmth filled my soul as he shuffled off in his slippers and his famous red flannel shirt and worn corduroy pants toward the light.
|Can you hear the laughter? My grandpa said something naughty here... :)|
|Nothing beats a hug from grandma. Nothing.|
It was 3 a.m. I started to panic. But I waited until 7 to call him – on my way to the dentist of all places. My grandma answered and giggled at the urgency in my voice and as I tripped over my words explaining my dream. “How come nobody has dreams about me?" She asked. She pulled the phone away. "Gramps, this one’s for you.”
Then panic washed over me. Because I knew death wasn't going to go away. It's our one guarantee here. I knew the end was coming sooner than it was later. And there was nothing I could do about it.
|These dimples live on in me. And in Nathan.|
|The sillier, the better!|
We thought we could be saying goodbye to my grandpa that day as he had clots building in his heart. Instead, I was actually saying goodbye to my grandma without realizing it. I still remember the way she greeted us that day. Open arms, her dimples, her smell. Thank GOD, Karl drove right instead of going straight that day.
|There is dancing in heaven, right?|
|We were allowed to drive the orange truck at age 10 at their house.|
|My grandma cried when she met me because I had her dimples|
|Like I said...we could ALWAYS be ourselves. The weirder, the better!|
|My grandparents invested interest and time into us and our wild side too. Beer and polka? SURE! Let's go! Take us to the bars, kids!|
My heart is incredibly heavy. I am not sure I have totally grieved the loss of my grandma yet since I want to cry but I’m off to nurse and change a diaper, or am wrestling an overtired toddler half the time, running off to work and making sure I don’t forget to pack bibs or extra socks for the boys. But this is the life I'm living. And I'm OK with that too because I feel blessed at the same time too. It's kind of crazy. Have I processed it all? Will I ever?
Amen. God. Amen. Hold them tightly for me, OK? They really love to polka so if you could round up a few folks for a polka fest, that would be awesome.