So I have taken THREE pregnancy tests
now (two on Day 24 and one on Day 26).
Two of them were Dollar Store purchases.
Did I mention I had to get real creative with how I peed in a cup? I didn’t
realize these Dollar store tests made you do that. Oops. But we’re talking a
dollar here! Score.
All three tests have had that second FADED line. I will take
one tomorrow (Day 29) to confirm. BUT I (the crazy organized part of me) already
called the doctor and scheduled our appointment even though Karl asked me if I’m
sure.
Well…I’m SURE those tests don’t lie. There is no such thing
as a false positive. You either have Hcg in you or you don’t. Pretty sure I do.
We’re both in denial a little bit. Excited but nervous.
SCARED. Karl said it’s because he already
knows what to expect this time around. Maybe that’s what it is??
I just feel bad because I have been VERY ANXIOUS. And I hope
I’m not hurting this sweet little babe with all my worries. Jackson is totally
picking up on me right now. So I feel bad about that too. This house stuff is
making me CRAZY. I’m waking up at 1 and
then 2 and then 4 for good thinking and thinking. I just want everything to go
really well and for us to make the RIGHT decision. I hate feeling rushed. I don’t
know if I feel rushed or straight up SCARED. Change is SO scary and we’re about
to face two HUGE changes.
I will say about 18 HUGE garbage bags went out for donation
from our house in two truckloads, so moving shouldn’t be AS tough. It will be,
but at least I know where things are. Well…except for in the man cave and the
garage. Oh boy. I’m scared.
I’m thinking I’ll need newer clothes anyway since Jackson
was born in the spring and I didn’t need any summer maternity clothes. This
time around I will. Will I really want to wear a sweater in July? I think not. I remember how hot I was all the time.
Our water heater broke on Friday too so there was that
throwing me into an anxiety whirlwind. Really…this stuff isn’t THAT BAD. I need
to CHILL OUT. Karl fixed it all up. I
love that about him. Mr. Fix It. Total TURN ON!
And go figure I stored ALL my maternity clothes away and
then BAM. I swear the minute you LET GO of ANY situation, AMAZING happens. That
to me is GOD. Reminding us, I am here!!!
Do not FEAR. I am WITH YOU. ALWAYS!
Let me do MY WORK.
DUH, Christie.
Secondly, my dad got sick with a fever over the weekend so I
was worried about that. Why was he sick? Was it his heart? Would he be OK? What
REALLY is going on back home? BUT, it sounded like a quick bug. He’s good now.
He showed me and Jackson his HUGE scar across his chest. Jackson of course
yelled, “OWIE!!!” My poor dad. He is doing REALLY GREAT though. Superstar!!!
I also weighed myself. I am TWO pounds away from my wedding
weight. TWO. WHAT!??!?! I’m not trying at ALL. I’m not working out extra. I’m
not eating any better. I’m just ALWAYS GOING. ALWAYS. Chasing a toddler is a
crazy calorie burn.
But I looked tired and old. Yum.
So yeah, I’m all over the place with my thoughts and
emotions. And just in case this little babe is reading this. I AM VERY EXCITED
FOR YOU. I AM. Being a mommy is scary because we want to give you THE WORLD.
THE BEST OF US. ALL THE TIME.
I freaked out with your brother too (way more) and then I
realized I could do this. I know God is telling me, “You’ve got this! Go MOM!!!”
