Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Negative - Day 26 (Month 1 of Trying)

Until Next Month... 
Well, the first month of trying was a no-go. It’s OK. I think I was so psycho about it because I deep down knew I wasn’t, but wanted myself to believe I was. Make sense?

Deep down I knew when I took that test on Saturday and it came back negative that I wasn’t going to be by the end of the week. 
Sometimes I feel like this at home!

Also, I realized how anxiety can consume a person (ehem…ME) and how it totally affects the whole process. Throwing that out the window month two. It truly made me ill and NUTS!

I decided that I have another month of feeling like me, so I’m going to focus on getting our house ready.
I would love answers. Will we be putting our town home up for sale? Will we be renting? Will we be staying until baby #2 arrives? I can’t answer any of these questions right now and it drives me nuts. But instead of being frozen and doing nothing and putting the house off again, I’m going to purge and downsize.

There are things in our house we NEVER use. There are things in our house that have been there since I bought the place in 2002 and just don’t seem to reflect who we are at all. There are also dust collectors everywhere.

I can’t imagine renting a storage unit. To me if we have to store stuff, do we really NEED IT then? We also don’t have the $100 it costs every month to rent a unit. 

Regardless of what we decide, I feel a million times better when there is less clutter and each room has a purpose. I feel in control of my emotions. I feel happy. I feel free.

Right now, I’m not sure why we have 50 candles throughout the house (totally bugging me), or dying plants taking up space, tons of books I'll never read again clogging our bookshelves and a million photos hanging on our walls and framed pictures from my college days. I’m tired of the excuses I have for all of these things! 

Usually I look at something taking up space and I worry I’ll hurt that person’s feelings if I throw it away since they gave it to us. Or I feel like I’m tossing away money. OR I know I have to keep all Jackson’s toys because we will have number two. That doesn’t mean I can’t pack away and store in a closet that is now stuffed with things we NEVER EVER USE.


A few other reasons I’m OK with the negative results:
  • I also get to strength train extra hard this month and use the steam room and hot tub! Yay!
  • I also get to drink a beer whenever I want. Yay!
  • I also better get my sushi fix in too….

What did you feel and do when the test came up negative? 


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