Saturday, July 7, 2012

First Overnight Trip to the Cabin and Fourth of July - Week 11

week 11

We survived an "overnight" trip to the cabin!

I We did it! Though it was only one night, Jackson survived his first sleep over in a different environment. We'll be headed to Roscoe soon for FOUR nights so this was good practice! The Fourth of July landed on a Wednesday (boo!) this year and Karl only had that day off. As soon as he was off work Tuesday, we filled up the car with a week's worth of stuff (for only one night) and headed up north to the Koester's cabin. The drive is about two hours, so I made sure I fed Jackson before we left so we wouldn't have to make any stops.

Our little family at the Koester cabin

The weather was hot. Like 100+ degrees sweat your butt off hot and there were a lot of people and dogs around. Jackson (okay, mom too) isn't used to all the commotion and I'm pretty sure he was overstimulated beyond imaginable, but I really tried to go with it. It's still hard for me to see Jackson handled by so many people at one time - I'll openly admit it. I can't be the only one who struggles with this, right? I'm just trying to figure out why .... I mean, these people love him and aren't going to drop him. Seriously, what can I do about this anxiety I get?

Anyway, we brought him outside Tuesday night when it cooled some and stripped him down to his diaper and sat in a netted up tent to keep the bugs away. That was fun. He lasted a little bit before he started to get fussy. Then we brought him inside where it was nice and cool but there were a lot of people and a lot of passing him around again... He wailed and wailed. My heart broke. I just wanted to jump over and rescue him. I know he'll be fine but inside I'm not always OK. But I swallowed my anxiety down and let everyone take their turns. When I just couldn't bear seeing him so frustrated, I snagged him away and went into a quiet room and held him close and bounced. He started to fall asleep in my arms and I started to feel less anxious. I guess it's safe to say I just don't like to see Jackson upset. I hadn't seem him cry like that in a long time.
Uncle Ben worked on Jackson's abs of steel.

I wanted to keep Jackson on somewhat of a sleeping schedule since I am going back to work sooner than later and I want to be as consistent as I can be. Right now his last feeding of the day is usually around 9/9:30 and he's in bed by 10:30/11. I'd love for it to be earlier, but for now that works for all of us. I don't allow myself to stay up past 11 anymore otherwise I'm in big trouble. I need to make sure I get at least five hours of sleep, as I never know when Jackson will be up next during the night. I like to say 5:00 a.m. because that has been the norm for three weeks now, but we all know how consistent babies are.

We brought Jackson's bassinet with and set it up next to me. It took some work to get him down, but once all the lights were out, he was sleeping. Success! He woke around 1:30 a.m. moaning and whining, which is pretty normal. Then again at 3:30...and he kept moaning and stirring. So I got up and fed him. It was different changing him on a bed and doing things out of our routine but it seemed like Jackson went with it, so I did too. He's teaching me a lot! I had to keep reminding myself that I need to be open to change.

I was worried Jackson could be a little dehydrated from being outside in the heat, even for that short amount because he did get pretty sweaty. I didn't want him to go a full seven hours without eating anything. Babies sure are smart. He was up again around 6:30 and I fed him again. Like I wrote earlier, at home he's been falling asleep at 10:30/11 and sleeps until 5:20 a.m. He will get up a few times during the night and moan and toss and turn, but he goes right back to sleep.

Dad and Aunt Kelly giving Jackson a cool down bath outside!

Jackson didn't mind the heat when he was naked!

I put Jackson down again after the 6:30 feeding and we didn't get up again until 9:45! Yay! I'll admit I tossed and turned that entire time worrying about things I'm sure all mothers worry about.

It was way too hot to bring him outside and more and more people kept coming. I was starting to feel extremely overwhelmed and uber protective again. And again...not sure where that comes from. So instead of freaking out, I stepped outside by myself and took a quick little breath break. I tried to remind myself I get him all day long right now and it's OK to share, nobody will feed him deer sausages or run away with him either.

*If anyone has any suggestions on how to just go with it and let go, please let me know!*

The break was good for me. I haven't sat in the sun for almost a year (no I couldn't quite walk around in my bikini just yet). I just leaned back in a chair and breathed. I also flipped through some pages in my magazines. I started to feel normal again. Phew. So I knew the break was necessary. I didn't seem so on edge when I walked back in the cabin. I just don't understand where this protective mama bear comes from??? It's nuts. Will it ever go away?

The rest of the day consisted of more feedings and eating and sitting in the sun (and one tasty margarita!). Jackson refused to go down for one of his nice long naps the entire day. There was just too much going on and too many people for him to relax and close those eyes for a long period of time. But before I knew it, it was time to go home and I knew he'd be out the minute we started driving.

We caught a doe and her baby cooling off in the corn by the cabin

We were able to catch some firework shows on our drive back and Jackson woke up 45 minutes before we got home. I thought for sure he'd be out the entire drive and for the rest of the night. Those babies love to surprise us, don't they? He had one more feeding and slept until 5 the next morning. His diaper was dry when I changed him, which worried me because usually it's pretty heavy going that long without a change. But after his 5:20 feeding, we were back on track! Phew.

Some Milestones for the Week:
Jackson has been really discovering his arms and hands and loves to suck. He sucked so hard on his arm that he gave himself a hickey. I finally brought out some of his toys because he isn't always interested in his pacifier, nor do I want to get him super addicted to it either. He hasn't totally warmed up to his toys, but he's reaching more for the ones hanging from his jungle gym or he is perfectly content grabbing hold of his burp cloth and snuggling with it. He's SO cute when he does this.

Munching down on his hand!

Jackson has found my hair, my necklace and ears. If he's not gripping onto my necklace, he's pulling my hair or grabbing my ears. I think this is hilarious because I love pulling on Karl's ears.
Jackson has found my hair!

He's also been making lots more noises. He'll sit in his rock n play while I make breakfast and have a full on conversation with himself. It cracks me up. And when I try to make the same sounds back to him, he tries so hard to laugh. Right now a big gasp of air comes out and I can just tell in the next couple weeks a huge giggle will soon follow. But his face lights up and he smiles back. That is the GREATEST feeling ever!!!

It's been HOT all week  - too hot to even walk outside! So Jackson and I hit up the Mall of America on Monday. One lap around is supposed to be about a mile, so we did a total of 50 minutes...3 miles! It was VERY hard to resist the stores, so I stayed on level 3 and looked straight ahead. I can't be spending money I don't have right now!
Walking laps at the Mall of America

In other BREAKING NEWS.... Kerri Walsh tweeted me. Ummm...yeah. How cool is that? We've been pondering having kids back-to-back or waiting a couple years in-between. I read an article about Kerri in one of my Health magazines. She had her boys back to back between Olympics. One is 3 and one is 2. Seems crazy. So I tweeted her asking how it was. And she wrote back! Neat huh?


LOVE reading about your journey with your little man! :) Don't be so hard on yourself! It's okay to be selfish and to want to rescue him! :) I still feel like that at times with my little monkey girl. I had such anxiety with Stella! I am the mom I use to make fun of before having my own little baby. There are times that I have to remind myself to just walk away and let other people enjoy her...I know I look silly and nobody loves someone staring over their shoulder handling a child. On top of that, I really do love that other people love her so much. Sometimes I just can't explain myself. I thought I was going to be such a laid back, cool mom...huh. I sometimes have to prepare myself for events by reminding myself to relax...maybe somebody will feed her juice (and not the organic kind mixed with 1/2 part water...GASP!), or let her have a bite of their popsicle (with corn syrup...GASP!), or put lotion on her (that isn't paraben free...GASP!), but what is the worst thing that could happen? She's going to be fine, we'll get back in to our routine when we get home, and she's going to live through all the FUN :) I get it, Christie. I get it. I just remind would I feel if people weren't grabbing at her and wanting to hold her? How would I feel then? Obviously, I love that other people love her. I think it gets easier as they get older. I think you begin to actually enjoy all of the chaos and grabbing at your child (and you don't feel the need to go hide in a room with your baby-to feed him any longer). You realize that you don't want your child to have the same routine every day, because what will they do the day you change part of the routine? You realize that kids can adapt, and it's good for them. You realize that you want everyone to be a part of the neat moments you experience, you want everyone to be able to know your baby, and you want everyone to see you as calm, cool and relaxed. :) I get it. I was there, I'm still there...working on relaxing and working on deep breathing, because anxiety can make you sick. When people tell you to relax, or that he'll be fine, or he's hungry, or they think he's tired...just smile (cause you know him best and you know what he needs-and he'll never forget that). Just be proud of everything you do and the mommy you are! By the could definitely walk around in a bikini. You are one hot Mama! Don't forget to give yourself a little credit! :) Jen Barlage

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