Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Welcome to Kindergarten

Jackson enters Kindergarten

I can’t even believe this day is here. Wasn’t I just blogging about my sweet baby boy and how I wanted to hide in the Kohl’s Department store clothes racks because I was so exhausted and shocked by motherhood and all the responsibilities?

Where did that life go???

Time truly does fly. And motherhood definitely changed me in more ways than I could ever imagine.

Here we are.... Kindergarten.

There were nerves leading up to the big day, and I think both boys sensed it. They seem to read me like a book. And speaking of books, I was doing my best to get as many library books into Jackson’s hands as I could that talked about starting school. I also would share stories of how much I loved it as a little girl and talked up how much fun he’d have making friends. We would pray about it every night and I’d let Jackson know that Jesus would be in his heart the entire time. There was no need to worry about anything!

Jackson still wasn’t so sure. It took a LONG time for him to warm up to the idea of going to school. He really enjoyed his routine; especially have Monday’s with grandma and Fridays with Mom and Nathan.

I’m still not sure how this is going to fall into place, but I know it will. It obviously did for me and I’m not sure what benefit holding him back another year would do. He is ready. He knows it. I know it. But change is HARD. What tugs at my heart the most is not being there after school is out. I wish he could hop on the bus, ride it home and get home around 3. Instead he has to wait until I come and get him at school after 5. I’m working my booty off to make this happen in the little pockets of time I have right now and also extending grace and forgiveness to myself over and over again. I have to trust that for some reason God wants it to be this way and perhaps when the timing is right, everything will fall into place.

Our morning started a bit crazy and we figured we’d have all kinds of extra time. We heard the bus would be late, but it was a minute EARLY!!! There were nerves. No hugs and I couldn’t even figure out how to run my video camera on my phone. I film myself every morning working out, you think I was an expert, but EVERYTHING slowed down. I watched my baby get on the bus, wave and drive away. He looked so small, yet so big.

Karl and I walked inside. He grabbed a Kleenex. Our eyes met. I couldn’t keep it in and we grabbed each other, hugged and sobbed our eyes out. Nathan was confused and latched on to Karl’s leg. There weren’t any words. It’s like we both just knew. Time is out of our control and we just let our little guy go…to achieve great things and there wasn’t more we could do.

I drove Nathan to our in-home daycare. The ride was different. Quiet. Jackson wasn’t asking questions. A pit grew in my stomach. Change. The leaves were turning colors. More change. Nathan started to whine and ask…”Where is Jackson?” Change. Change. Change.

Drop off went exceptionally well. Maybe because Nathan also had new shoes like Jackson. He had a Batman backpack he picked out with a folder and notebook just like brother. He too was going to start school. Pre-School. No wonder people have more than 2 kids. Time truly goes fast and they are so much fun to watch turn into amazing human beings.

I stared at the clock while at work. I checked in to see how Nathan was doing since he had been acting out SO MUCH at home. TERRIBLE tantrums and meltdowns. Spitting, kicking, biting, pinching, SCREAMING. It was horrible. I almost ran away once because I didn’t feel fit to be his mom anymore. It’s been tough. But like I said before, I think the boys could sense the change I was feeling coming our way.

I even emailed Jackson’s teacher… How was he? I refreshed my email maybe a 50 times. OK…100 or so. FINALLY, she wrote back that he was doing great and taking everything in stride. DUH! I knew he would be fine….

FINALLY I was FREE from work and flew to daycare to get Nathan. He was a total charmer. Handled the day great and was counting leaves when I whisked him up. He had a project waiting for me and couldn’t wait to share. “I got messy, mom. My hands.”

Then…on our drive to get Jackson, Nathan and I had a full on conversation. Nathan talks!?!? He can speak in full sentences?? When did this happen?? Oh yeah, Jackson does ALL the talking usually. And they are always together. Nathan looked thrilled that he was able to talk to me and I was listening. Maybe this adjustment is a GOOD thing for all of us?

We both ran in to get Jackson. Nathan was so excited to see his brother waving through the window of the cafeteria. I couldn’t get a hold of Jackson fast enough. As I buckled him in, he told me he really liked school a lot and wasn’t so sure about the after school stuff though. I felt relief and pride. Maybe things would be OK?

“Mom. Nobody got sent to the principal today from our class. Especially me.” Jackson smiled.
Whew. That’s a good day.

He loved playing outside (went out 3 times and played with our neighbor during one of the breaks), thought it was funny he got breakfast in the morning, is really interested in using the IPAD to order is hot lunch and made one friend who sits next to him. Most importantly, his teacher is NICE.

Here’s to an AWESOME first year!

How did your first days go this year? 


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