Jackson at 10.5 Months Old

Action Jackson is on the Loose

Jackson is into EVERYTHING right now. And he is incredibly fun to be around. He crawls so fast he can’t keep up with his head. Not kidding. It’s the cutest thing to watch. His head bobs down as he flies down the hall and he tries so hard to lift it back up but he is going SO FAST. We can’t help but giggle.

Want me in your ad, New Balance?

It’s hard for me to do anything when Jackson is awake, so I really don’t (hence why there are fewer blog posts). I don’t mind playing with him either because I love when he discovers something new. All the things we are used to and take for granted are SO new and exciting for him. Like a box full of oranges. These are the coolest things on the planet right now. Who knew?

World's strongest baby

And then there are those bathroom breaks. I can’t pass Jackson off to someone else when I have to go to the bathroom. Down goes the vase and fake flowers. So I try to busy him with other things as you can see in the picture. After all, I do need to use the bathroom…

He loves knocking over our speakers, which we have now tied up. He’ll still digs up our plants. The night we left for Arizona he stuck an entire fist into the dirt and before I could get to him…into his mouth it went. All I heard was “MMMMMMMMMMM”. Black lips. Black teeth. So, he likes dirt. Great. Good fiber, maybe??

He opens doors like nobody’s business. And he’ll pull everything out that’s in a cabinet. DVDs, paper, the smallest piece of plastic, a crumb, CDs, you name it. He gets so excited that he sometimes loses his balance and falls face first into the wood. He shaved some skin off his nose when he face met sharper wood. And I was standing RIGHT THERE. He is so fast.

Up and down the stairs Jackson goes. He is SO incredibly smart that he turns around when he comes to the stairs and goes down backwards, thanks to Grandma Judy’s training sessions.

What’s up with MOM?

The past month has been pretty hard on me. And here I thought I was getting over all the hard stuff. I’ve now accepted that the hard stuff is really only beginning. Labor? Cha… Yeah, it hurt for 37 hours, but that is nothing compared to the day to day stuff now.

But I am working on my reaction to things. Meaning, a better attitude, more positivity and celebrating the small successes. I’ve been faced with a lot of changes in a short amount of time:

• Right now I’m adjusting to a bigger workload at my job. Our department is spending a lot of time organizing other departments within our company and that has created a ton of work. I wear a lot of hats in my position. I kind of feel like that one children’s book, Caps for Sale. One second I have one cap on and quickly I’m putting another one over that one, until I have a ton stacked on top of one another and a wobbly head. Ha. I do like being busy – the days go so fast - but I do like coming up for air every once in a while.

• Karl’s work is ridiculous and I feel like it’s really taking its toll on both of us. I don’t know what else to say about that. He is working ALL THE TIME. I feel like he’s MISSING OUT on Jackson’s first year. I miss him and I really would LOVE more of him.

• We went on a trip to Arizona to see my family and I caught the stomach bug on our flight in – not to mention it was rainy and cold. It was the first time in the 33 years I’ve traveled there that I never put on a swim suit. Oh, and then everyone got my bug. Everyone but Jackson and Karl. Sorry!

• Upon returning from our stresscation, we put Jackson in a center two days a week. Rough.

• Lastly, Jackson had five teeth that cut through at once. AND I experienced what it feels like to get bit with those sharpies..not just once but time and time again. He goes on strikes. He might nurse from one side but refuses the other so he bites. Or he just starts biting right away. IT HURTS and I'm soooo close to giving in because I'm SO close to the year mark. Let me tell you…Karl thought I was getting murdered when he bit me for the first time. Yes, it hurt that bad.

Throw this all together and you have ONE CRAZY house and one exhausted mom.

Change is HARD, but I’ve realized as a parent, you MUST embrace change or else you will burn a hole in your stomach from the constant worry. I have been leaning on God A LOT. Because I don’t know what else to do.

But I will tell you that Jackson is my world. Laying with him in the hospital bed seconds after labor, I'm not sure if I could ever put into words what I felt. I loved him so much, but there I was and there he was and I had NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON. Everything was SO new and SO scary. AND FOREVER. I didn’t go through a surgery or a procedure and everything was going to be done and back to where it was. Our life from that point forward was different. And I wanted to be PERFECT for Jackson.

Guess what? I am not perfect. There isn’t a manual to follow so I can become perfect either. I never knew how much I have always wanted to be THE BEST at everything. School. Volleyball. My job. Being a wife. My health. My fitness. A friend. A daughter. A sister.

It’s taken me a bit, but now I see I’m doing great without following some checklist because JACKSON LOVES ME. It’s written all over his face. In the way he hugs me. The way he reaches for me. The way he smiles and giggles when he sees me. In the way he crawls to me just so I can pick him up and kiss him all over.

Motherhood has been a process for me. I feel like life is flying by so fast and slapping me in the face constantly and I have no time to slow it down. I haven’t had a moment to sit back and just ENJOY what is going on before us. I keep thinking I will. I thought I would in Arizona, but things continue to pop up and we keep going and going. If that makes sense? I’m always worried about the next thing or I’m busying myself with house work or catching up on laundry or writing grocery lists. Or I’m at work, working. When I do sit down, it’s time for bed or Jackson is down for a nap and I have to fly through a list of projects that normally could wait for the weekend. In short, things are nuts.

Right now though I feel like Jackson and I have this special something going on. I would do ANYTHING for him that’s how much I love him. And that’s not an exaggeration.