WE SURVIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SURVIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well...this far:) I have hit the sweet spot! I'd hear people talk about it but wasn't sure what they meant. I just knew I wanted to get there!
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| Our sweet happy boy |
"Things DO get better. I promise," is what I'd hear.
It's weird typing that because things were always awesome in hindsight, but becoming a parent is such a transition. And oh...man...the lost sleep!!! Ugh. That is killer. And you wonder if it'll EVER get better. Then you wonder HOW will it ever get better??? Because you worry. And you worry more and you sleep less. And the less sleep you get, the more delusional you become. Like borderline crazy. I remember thinking such goofy thoughts. One of them: My old life really wasn't so bad. What did I just do???
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| Sitting up at Gpa and Gma's House |
I still remember how I didn't want to leave Kohl's a week or two after Jackson was born because I just wanted my old life of freedom and sleep back. And I was so scared my life would always be like that first month as a new parent.
It really isn't. Things really DO keep getting better and better and better. I mean, why else do people have more than one child? Ha!
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| Even though I'm away from my baby during the day, he's not far! Always on my mind and in sight. |
I think hitting the sweet spot means, LIFE IS SO SWEET!!!!!!!!!! You really start to count your blessings. Someone at work even asked me if I was "on something" last week because I've been so happy and bubbly. I swear...it's the sleep thing. Jackson slept 12 blessed hours in a row two weekends ago. 12 hours. 12. Now...last night I couldn't fall asleep until 11 and then Jackson was up at 2:30...so little tired here. But I don't mind. Really. I know I can do it.
Some people hit the sweet spot immediately after their baby is born. Some it takes a few weeks. Some a few months. Me...took half a year!!! I'm not saying I woke up one morning just recently and felt I had it all together. I'm saying I love where things are at right now and I'm soaking each moment up as much as I can. I'm happy. I can't get enough of Jackson and he's so much fun to be around. I don't mind getting up in the middle of the night anymore (maybe because these times are fewer and far between). I have a system down. I'm more confident in myself. I'm stronger. I feel really good. I'm proud of myself and am not ashamed to write that. It was rough there, but I did it. I know deep in my bones that I'm in a good place and my life is going to keep getting crazy cool.
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| First Halloween! |
But with those happy thoughts comes fear. Darn fear. The happier I feel and the more attached I get and the more I love, the more I have to lose. And that is scary. I can't even imagine a life without Karl or Jackson in it. It makes me sick and so sad to even think about that. So I'm not going to write too much about that...other than...that fear is there. And as much as things get better and greater, that fear sneaks up out of nowhere. I take it as a reminder to appreciate every second and moment I have with my boys and pray that I get to enjoy infinity seconds with them.
I've also had to train my brain to lower my expectations (especially of myself) AND not be so hard on myself . If I shoot for accomplishing one thing a day for myself, the rest sort of follows. Karl will list off all the stuff he wants to do and has to get done and I tell myself, if I can get a walk in with Jackson, today is a GREAT day. Or...if I can spend an hour playing with Jackson, today is the BEST day. That's it. I try not to get down on myself if I don't cook up a fabulous meal, or get to clean an area of the house that's been collecting dust, or get out of the house to run a few errands or get a hardcore workout in. My first priority is getting time with Jackson in because I don't get a whole lot of that during the week.
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| Look mom! Just helping with laundry! |
What's new with Jackson -
I woke up this past weekend to see Jackson up on all fours in his crib. Yes. And rocking. He lifted his arm as if he was going to crawl but instead leaped forward into a plank. It was pretty funny. But he got right back up on all fours and rocked again. I know it's coming. It's SO coming... He's doing it more and more on his mats too. Our house is so not baby proofed!!
We gave Jackson a sippy cup after his dinner last week. He took it and put it right in his mouth, but he couldn't quite figure it out. I gave him a little tap water to try. Dad had to help him but he wasn't so interested.
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| Why can't I get this crawling thing down? |
Jackson was introduced to mangoes this week. He had to think about it but once he started making his "mmmm" noise, I knew he liked it. Tonight I'm introducing papaya! And later this week: pear. It's not that difficult to make his food. For instance, my brother was over so we could all watch The Amazing Race. He received a phone call, so in that time I chopped, peeled and pureed Jackson's food. Done.
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| Sunday Greeter at church with dad! |
Jackson is blowing raspberries (i.e. making farting noises). It's the cutest thing. I read somewhere that he's getting ready for those first words!!! I can't wait.
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| Yo! You talking about my awesome cups? |
Jackson went into a full out laughing spat when Mike (my brother) came over. We caught it on tape too. The greatest ever. I looked over at Karl. We both had tears in our eyes. Now that is PURE JOY. I couldn't help it. Jackson laughing - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOXzxC4EBpQ&feature=plcp
Karl made the most creative Halloween Costume for Jackson. Mr. Mustache Man. Not a bird. Not a plane. But Mr. Mustache Man. Saving the world one whisker at a time. I could not believe Karl was getting out of bed at 5 a.m. to get to work so he could find time in his day to work on the costume. I mean, we're talking about a man who LOVES his sleep. My mind was blown when I saw it. There was fur. And edging. And pants. And suspenders. And a cape! And a monster-sized mustache. What a great dad. I love weird people. Maybe cuz I'm one of them:)
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| Mr. Mustache Man and the creator of his costume! Can't wait for next year!! |
Jackson has more than just one tooth. A few days after he got his first one, another one popped up from his bottom gum. He's a bit feisty and is doing his major teething thing again, so I'm wondering if another is coming...
I know there will be plenty of ups and downs but when there is a good day - oh, it's SOOO sweet! The day even tastes sweet.
Mommy hood is rockin!
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