Telling Work: Month 3

written October 1, 2011
11 weeks

What will work say?

I'm not sure what my work is going to think when I tell them the news. My thought is they'll be happy for me. But you never know. I'm scared, which I think is normal.

The thing is there aren't many females at my place of employment who can have babies anymore.

Plus, I haven't fully accepted the fact that I am preg. It just seems so surreal to me. So it's hard for me to blurt it out. Twelve weeks is sort of the safe zone.

So with that said, I felt these past few months I needed to prove a lot to myself and to work. I wanted to be able show work that, yes, I could be faced with some major life-changing news and still get projects done. I could still remain focused. I could still manage a team. I wasn't broken or needed to be treated any differently. I didn't need to miss work or leave tons early. I could do it. Yes, the trails of overpowering perfume of some employees knocked me on my butt. The lunch smells killed my stomach at times. And little things did annoy me very easily, but I took deep breaths and kept my head buried in my computer. Yes, there were days I wanted to throw up. Yes, there were mornings I had to dive back into bed in tears. I had no idea how I'd dig past the grossness so I could walk into work for eight hours and act like nothing was wrong. But I survived!!!!! I did it!!! This too shall pass!!!

So on Monday I plan on sitting my boss down and breaking the news. My goal is to take 8-12 weeks maternity leave. 

Thankfully I have been saving just a little bit of each paycheck in an ING account ever since we got back from South Africa almost two years ago to cover my butt. I want to enjoy maternity leave comfortably. I have enough to cover me for eight solid weeks. And I think I'll still be able to continue some freelance work with AOL so I can get some cash flow. Short term really only covers 60% of two weeks because I have to burn through my vacation first. But I will say some of the BEST advice I have ever been given is.... It's not how much you make, it's how much you save. If I never saved, I would've never been able to take maternity leave. And what? I had to give up going out to dinner with Karl once a month or had to turn down a fun night out? It was worth it!!! Now I'll have time to heal and get to know baby!!! Because I have NO IDEA what I'm doing!!!

We'll see what happens!

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Jeans Don't Fit No More No More No More No More - Month 3

written Sunday, September 25, 2011
week 10

Thursday was a monumental day for me. Monday through Thursday I have to wear nice pants to work and then on Fridays I'm finally allowed to wear jeans. Now...not all people in the company follow this rule as most employees wear jeans and sweatshirts Monday through Friday and I'm wondering when I can start wearing my Yoga pants all day every day since I'm not so sure this pants rule is really enforced. Anyway, I was able to slip on my size 6 long black pants from New York and Company just fine on Thursday but by the time I got to work I realized my waistband was cutting off my circulation and I was miserable. I did the unthinkable and unbuttoned my pants and walked around like that the rest of the day. Hey, nobody knew and I sure felt a whole lot better.

Then Friday came. I pulled on my favorite Express Jeans...all $85 of them. They were cutting off my circulation even before I pulled them over my thighs. I think I felt a tear spring to my eye because I know how hard I worked to get into those jeans, but I quickly peeled them off and blamed the dryer. I dug around and found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn for at least a year and slipped those on. They were always my "bigger" jeans. I could barely button them. At least my thighs could breathe though. So I took a hairband and looped in through the button hole and spent my day wondering how much longer I was going to avoid buying maternity clothes?

So yes, soon I'm going to have to take a trip and buy some newer pants or better bands or something. Month four is creeping up so quickly and once that hits, there's not stopping the growing belly. I now get why this all takes nine months. Moms need to mentally adjust and baby needs to grow into this little healthy miracle. This is all just so crazy!!!

Any suggestions for cute maternity clothes?

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About Christie Koester - I've Been Tagged

Getting to know Christie Koester

So I’ve been tagged via Twitter through my critty gal Julie! This is a blogger thing and when you get tagged, you share ten facts about yourself on the blog. I blog all my business on here, so now I have to find ten interesting things I probably haven't shared. This could be tough!!!

Me and my mommy! June 8 at 5:59 p.m. at 10 massive pounds! Ouch!

1. I was born a large 10-pound baby. I was smashed in my mother's womb and came out with a hole in my chest. Medical term: pectus excavatum. As a little girl, I used to lie back in the bathtub and gather all the water in my chest cavity and form a lake. Then I'd close my eyes and pretend there were fish swimming in my hole. Hey, I never said I was normal!

2. I first picked up a volleyball at my best friend Laura's house. We were in the 6th grade. I haven't put it down since. I heart volleyball. I will be playing well into my 80s.

My BFF Laura - without her, I would have never given VB a chance!!

3. I've been going to a chiropractor since I was four or something crazy like that. I have never once broken any bones, had surgery or been in the hospital (other than for tubes in my ears at age 2).

4. I've owned two cars my entire life. My '96 Grand Prix and my '03 Mazda 6. The second week of owning my brand new Mazda 6, I got in my first ever car accident. They fixed it up real nice and that same day I got in my second car accident.

5. I missed one morning of school my entire high school career - that's how much I loved school. I threw up that morning and still made it by lunch. I never skipped one class my four years of college (unless for volleyball games). I love to learn. I love school. I'd do it all over again.

6. I always thought I knew what falling in love felt like, until I met Karl Anthony Koester. I honestly can't get enough of him. I'm so crazy about him it's insane. The wait was totally worth it. I could gobble him up - he's that delicious.

My honey proposed to me at the Murfreesboro, Arkansas diamond mine!!

7. I hiked up Machu Picchu with a few people from church and one of the ladies slipped and broke her leg on a rock. My brother and I had to carry her down on a stretcher...in the rain. I've also been to Italy, Ireland, Greece, St. Lucia, Mexico, South Africa and Netherlands.

Me and my brother Mike in Peru...before the "leg" incident happened!

8.  I live next door to my older brother Mike. I don't really get sick of him either. Kind of weird.

9. I eat lemons and limes like apples. I'm worried I'll ruin my teeth so I try to control myself.

10. I had braces on my pearly whites not once but twice.

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Learning to Let Go and Say No - Month 3

written September 21, 2011
week 10

I think most people who know me see me as this bubbly, energetic person who takes on a million projects at once. I remember having dinner at Olive Garden with my friend Meegan (who I totally admire since she's a mother of FOUR kids) a few months ago. The thing about Meegan's kids...they are probably the most well-behaved kids I've ever met. I keep telling her she needs to be my mentor when the time comes because I have never seen kids like hers. And well, I want kids like that. I don't want the kids who are running wild everywhere, punching and screaming on the top of their lungs. Supernanny anyone?

Anyway, getting back to Meegan. She told me that once I become pregnant I will not be able to do it all. I will have to give up some things - I will have to make sacrifices. At first I looked at her with my superhuman powers and thought... Ha! I'll show her. But, I take that back. I wish I could just say "no" right now to some things. Frankly I'm tired. I just want to work a job and write and raise a family. That's it. Oh, and play volleyball. :) I'm entering a new stage/phase of my life and am ready to focus more on family stuff.

Things I currently have going on/participating in:

1. Full-time job
2. Querying my 320-page book
3. Writing another book
4. In a critique group - critiquing five other women's fiction work (usually 60 pages a time) once a week
5. Blogging (personal - baby, writing and food recipes)
6. Blogging (Star Tribune)
7. Community reporter (KSTP)
8. Weekly reporter/writer for AOL Patch (three articles a week)
9. Writer for Examiner.com
10. Freelance writer/graphic designer (designing website and marketing deliverables for uncle's new invention)
11. Volunteer for Young(er) adult group at church
12. Health Cabinet volunteer at church
13. Sunday greeter at church
14. Organizing dodgeball at church
15. Playing in a volleyball league (playing only one night a week)
16. Work out with a trainer (right now I'm failing miserably since I can't even get to the gym).
17. I'm the 'Member at Large' on our Town Home Association Board

Lots of thoughts and feelings going on in my head right now. Just curious what other people do when they are asked to do something their heart is just not in at the moment? Does the moment present itself to challenge us - something bigger might come from it, or is it more of a test? How does one balance everything???

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Words of Wisdom for Moms-to-Be - Month 3

written September 21, 2011
week 10

Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature. He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy. If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin. (info found on www.babycenter.com)
My awesome friend Jaymie sent me an email this morning and I wanted to share it for anyone else who may be preg and wondering how life is going to change dramatically. I think of that quite often. Jaymie had her baby girl, Brighton Kay McGrath, back in July (in like the easiest delivery ever) and wanted me to know some things. The best part is today is her 32nd birthday so this is just very fitting. Here they are below. I love this!

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

2. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices. (if you would have told me this 3 months ago, i would have said you are out of your f-ing mind. i was so scared of the sacrifices...especially the sleep one. but, here i am...at 7:19am...sitting at the computer...just waiting for my daughter to wake up. i can barely believe it. and it doesn't bother me one bit. it takes all i have not to wake her ass up right now because i miss her.)

3. You respect your body ... finally.

4. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.

5. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.

6. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.

7. Your heart breaks much more easily.

8. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.

9. Every day is a surprise.

10. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

11. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

12. You become a morning person.

13. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

This just makes me smile!!! I love it. Does anyone have anything to add?

Hold fast your dreams! Within your heart. Keep one still, secret spot. Where dreams may go. And, sheltered so, may thrive and grow.

- Louise Driscoll

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Seeing the Heartbeat - Month 3

written Monday, September 12, 2011
9 weeks

First ultrasound. Wow!

Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain. (info from http://www.babycenter.com/)

Something needs to be said about that first ultrasound. Wow. Wow. Wow. This whole creating a baby is truly a miracle. Whoa. Yes, I've been reading up on my four different books. (Ergh...umm...yes, I have four now. Thanks She-Dawg!!!) And I wasn't so sure anymore that we'd even be having the ultrasound since most of the books say you'll have your first one at 12 weeks. I knew I was going into my ninth week, so I wasn't sure if they'd make us wait.

Before we went to bed last night I said a little prayer. I told God that we felt pretty bad we hadn't been going to church lately but we're hoping he hadn't forgotten about us too much since we hadn't been spending nearly enough time with him. We asked that everything turn out just as it is supposed to be and that baby is healthy. All I know is after I spoke those words, I felt really safe...really happy.

Then I had a rough time sleeping. I woke with a throbbing headache around 2:30 and had to take Tylenol with a handful of peanuts. I woke every hour either to pee or to roll over. I was hot. I am never hot when I sleep. My dreams were crazy and I felt like my mind was racing all night. I wasn't sure how the appointment would go.

Mostly I've been freaking out about my weight (so dumb I know but seriously...I'm a fitness freak). I know I've gained a few pounds since our wedding for sure. At 5'10" I was down to 143 when I walked down the aisle. I gained seven pounds over our honeymoon - I do not regret a single pound either. That honeymoon was frickin amazing. Sometime my heart hurts thinking about how amazing that was and how not one vacation will ever be the same as that. It was really special and a one-time deal.

So over the course of two years I've fluctuated between 147-152 pounds. When I first weighed myself on day 30 of this journey, I was 154 and the size 4s were getting a bit snug. Today, I was only up a pound!!!!!! Phew. That means if I gain the 30-34 pounds I can still stay under 200 pounds. I will die if I get over 200. Baaaahahahaha. I worry because I eat a lot, but I do eat healthy when I eat a lot, so I have that going for me. But whatever. If I get chubby, I get chubby.

But yes, this is about baby and not my chub. Karl and I headed to the doctor appointment at 7:50 after battling annoying traffic. So doc (nurse practitioner) went over my form I filled out and asked me lots of family history questions. I will say everyone was quite impressed with my family heart history.

• Mom's dad died of congenital heart failure
• Mom's brother has a defibulator and was on heart transplant list for awhile (get this...his defib went off when he was scaling a mountain and he was thrown off!! Can you even believe it!?!?)
• Mom's other brother has irregul heartbeat and needs to get shocked every once in a while
• Mom's sister has the super fast heart beat and needs to dunk head in ice sometime to jump it back to normal
• Dad's dad has a pacemaker, a pig valve, and two clots in his heart
• Dad has pacemaker
• Brother was born with hole in heart and irregular heart beat (but also completed two marathons and climbed Mount Kilimanjaro! Boo-yah!!)
• Dad's sister gave birth to a baby whose heart valves were flipped and he died 6 months later:( 

So yeah... crazy hearts on both sides and doctors and nurses are keeping a close watch! Then she asked for our questions, which I had a bunch. Then she wheeled in the ultrasound machine. She had to go through my 'who-ha' on this one since a belly read would be too hard. She moved the big ol' stick around inside me until...poof! There was our baby jumping and twitching around!!!!! I looked up at Karl and tears rolled down his cheeks. I had to look away... I'm emotional enough as is!!! But WOW. Nothing can prepare you for that moment. It's nuts. Then I saw a little dot in his chest pumping super fast. Then all I kept thinking about was...is he/she healthy? What is he/she going to become? Will he/she play volleyball?

So so so so neat. I'm already in love. We also found out I'm for sure 9 weeks along and due April 16! I'm getting super excited about this and felt really great the minute I was able to hear the words..."there's the heartbeat." Because I know things are going to be fine. One of my books says if you make it past 8 weeks and see the heartbeat, miscarriage drops to 5%.

I headed downstairs to get blood drawn. My veins were nowhere to be found and I got poked twice in both arms since they weren't having much luck - and then I peed in a cup. Fun stuff.

I just can't wait to meet this little fella. How much joy he/she is going to bring!!!!!!! So of course I called my mom and I left a bubbly message with her and then called my dad right away since I remembered my mom was working out - and he was just super excited. That was cool to hear! I instantly felt like myself again. It was great. We're SO excited to see them this weekend and to show them pictures!!!!!!!!!!! It's going to be great. Speaking of pictures...what do you think? Pretty cute, huh? I think baby is going to have Karl's ears!!!!!!!! YESSS!!!

So I did something crazy and I'm grabbing a quote from my calendar - the one on April 16. Isn't this so cool!?!??!

"As Jesus stepped into the garden, you were in his prayers. As Jesus looked into heaven, you were in  his vision... His final prayer was about you. His final pain was for you. His final passion was you."

-Max Lucado

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Yummy Tacos for Two

Eating like a celebrity now...One of Jennifer Hudson's favorite dishes

Tacos for Two
serves 2
(recipe found in Self Magazine September 2011)

1 red bell pepper, sliced
1 tsp olive oil
1 package (9 oz) Perdue Short cuts Carved Chicken Breast Strips Grilled (I used our leftover chicken from the grill)
1 clove of garlic
1/2 cup salsa
4 whole grain taco shells
1/2 cup shredded taco cheese
1 jalapeno chile, chopped

In a medium skillet, saute bell pepper in oil until soft, about 6 minutes.

Add chicken, garlic, salsa, salt and pepper; cook stirring, until heated through.

Stuff taco shelled with chicken mixture, cheese and jalapeno, if desired.

Karl's reaction: "All I taste is cilantro. I think I just like your normal ground beef tacos. It's good, but I like normal tacos."

My take: "I obviously didn't follow the recipe. I added cilantro and some chili beans. I did find myself missing taco meat."

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