Jackson enters Kindergarten
I can’t even believe this day is here. Wasn’t I just blogging about my sweet baby boy and how I wanted to hide in the Kohl’s Department store clothes racks because I was so exhausted and shocked by motherhood and all the responsibilities?
Where did that life go???
Time truly does fly. And motherhood definitely changed me in more ways than I could ever imagine.
Here we are.... Kindergarten.
There were nerves leading up to the big day, and I think
both boys sensed it. They seem to read me like a book. And speaking of books, I was doing my best to
get as many library books into Jackson’s hands as I could that talked about starting
school. I also would share stories of how much I loved it as a little girl and
talked up how much fun he’d have making friends. We would pray about it every
night and I’d let Jackson know that Jesus would be in his heart the entire
time. There was no need to worry about anything!
Jackson still wasn’t so sure. It took a LONG time for him to
warm up to the idea of going to school. He really enjoyed his routine;
especially have Monday’s with grandma and Fridays with Mom and Nathan.
I’m still not sure how this is going to fall into place, but
I know it will. It obviously did for me and I’m not sure what benefit holding
him back another year would do. He is ready. He knows it. I know it. But change
is HARD. What tugs at my heart the most is not being there after school is out.
I wish he could hop on the bus, ride it home and get home around 3. Instead he
has to wait until I come and get him at school after 5. I’m working my booty
off to make this happen in the little pockets of time I have right now and also
extending grace and forgiveness to myself over and over again. I have to trust
that for some reason God wants it to be this way and perhaps when the timing is
right, everything will fall into place.
Our morning started a bit crazy and we figured we’d have all
kinds of extra time. We heard the bus would be late, but it was a minute
EARLY!!! There were nerves. No hugs and I couldn’t even figure out how to run
my video camera on my phone. I film myself every morning working out, you think
I was an expert, but EVERYTHING slowed down. I watched my baby get on the bus,
wave and drive away. He looked so small, yet so big.
Karl and I walked inside. He grabbed a Kleenex. Our eyes
met. I couldn’t keep it in and we grabbed each other, hugged and sobbed our
eyes out. Nathan was confused and latched on to Karl’s leg. There weren’t any
words. It’s like we both just knew. Time is out of our control and we just let
our little guy go…to achieve great things and there wasn’t more we could do.
I drove Nathan to our in-home daycare. The ride was
different. Quiet. Jackson wasn’t asking questions. A pit grew in my stomach.
Change. The leaves were turning colors. More change. Nathan started to whine
and ask…”Where is Jackson?” Change. Change. Change.
Drop off went exceptionally well. Maybe because Nathan also
had new shoes like Jackson. He had a Batman backpack he picked out with a
folder and notebook just like brother. He too was going to start school.
Pre-School. No wonder people have more than 2 kids. Time truly goes fast and
they are so much fun to watch turn into amazing human beings.
I stared at the clock while at work. I checked in to see how
Nathan was doing since he had been acting out SO MUCH at home. TERRIBLE
tantrums and meltdowns. Spitting, kicking, biting, pinching, SCREAMING. It was
horrible. I almost ran away once because I didn’t feel fit to be his mom
anymore. It’s been tough. But like I said before, I think the boys could sense
the change I was feeling coming our way.
I even emailed Jackson’s teacher… How was he? I refreshed my
email maybe a 50 times. OK…100 or so. FINALLY, she wrote back that he was doing
great and taking everything in stride. DUH! I knew he would be fine….
FINALLY I was FREE from work and flew to daycare to get
Nathan. He was a total charmer. Handled the day great and was counting leaves
when I whisked him up. He had a project waiting for me and couldn’t wait to
share. “I got messy, mom. My hands.”
Then…on our drive to get Jackson, Nathan and I had a full on
conversation. Nathan talks!?!? He can speak in full sentences?? When did this
happen?? Oh yeah, Jackson does ALL the talking usually. And they are always
together. Nathan looked thrilled that he was able to talk to me and I was
listening. Maybe this adjustment is a GOOD thing for all of us?
We both ran in to get Jackson. Nathan was so excited to see
his brother waving through the window of the cafeteria. I couldn’t get a hold of
Jackson fast enough. As I buckled him in, he told me he really liked school a
lot and wasn’t so sure about the after school stuff though. I felt relief and
pride. Maybe things would be OK?
“Mom. Nobody got sent to the principal today from our class.
Especially me.” Jackson smiled.
Whew. That’s a good day.
He loved playing outside (went out 3 times and played with
our neighbor during one of the breaks), thought it was funny he got breakfast
in the morning, is really interested in using the IPAD to order is hot lunch
and made one friend who sits next to him. Most importantly, his teacher is
NICE.
Here’s to an AWESOME first year!
How did your first days go this year?
