Why Having a Life is Good for Writers

Good stories come out of the busyness life provides...if we're paying attention

I whined to a writer friend last week that I take on too much and can't say "no" enough. His response: "you’ll probably agree all your “yes’s” – though hectic and sometimes overwhelming – are very life affirming while enriching you with things to write about."

Okay, fine Lyle, you are so right! (P.S. His book is coming out soon and it's a good one! I'll direct you to his blog once he gets it up and running.) 


Grabbed some friends and my hubs and headed to two wineries in Stillwater, MN for the day. AWESOME!

 


















So I clamped my mouth shut and decided to sit back, enjoy and soak up ideas for my next manuscript. Problem was my mind was fuzzy. Real fuzzy. No, I wasn't drunk...I was at a loss for words... And that's not a good thing.

I've said it before on this blog. I started on manuscript (ms) #2 a couple months ago to kill time as I waited for responses on my query letter and received feedback from agents on my first ms. 

In the meantime some of my critique ladies read my first three chapters of #2 ms and asked if I was writing a psychological thriller. Say what? Hmmmmm. Not sure I was going for that. What was happening to me? I'm all about love and rainbows and dancing hearts. A psychological thriller?! Me??

That should've been my first sign. Then life became really busy and I began revising 360 pages of my first ms. And you know how that goes with a full-time job, freelance work, and all the other stuff that comes with being responsible. It's hard, but if you want it bad enough, you will find a way!

I thought 'finding a way' meant excluding myself from everyone and all the fun stuff happening around me. This is when my adult mature self (I'm now the ripe age of 32) came into play. There's a time when you have to look inside yourself and ask: Am I writing to write? Or am I truly writing for the love of writing?


Yes, that is Taylor Swift. This young lady reminded me how much I LOVE love. The first kiss. Falling in love. Holding back when I really wanted to scream from the roof tops. Saying I love you. She had glitter and everything. Yes, I swear I'm really 32...

 My first ms is my baby. That is my love. And I want to feel that way about every book I write. Obviously I want to continue writing about what I know and what I've experienced. I want to stand out. I want my stories and books to shine. But it's hard to do when everything around me is fuzzy and moving at an insane speed.

I noticed as I was writing ms #2, something was different. Maybe the words were forced? I was trying to push something that wasn't there? 

The problem with getting older is we're faced with more responsibilities - jobs and tasks that prevent us from sitting back and enjoying the small things. I know that sounds terrible. But think about it: a Popsicle on a hot day was all I needed to put a smile on my face after living carefree, playing in the woods and riding bikes with my brothers and the neighbor boys. The sounds of frogs and weird bugs chirping at night made me feel safe on a summer's night. I made time to count the stars or feel the blades of grass between my fingers.

When life becomes too routine, or we have too much going on at once, we start to forget about the good things. The small things. The awesome things. Life feels rushed and same with our words. 

We need the precious moments.

And sometimes writers become overwhelmed with deadlines and lists and finding balance. We have ten more pages to edit before our head hits the pillow or another manuscript to start, a deadline to meet, etc.


How can we not want Juliet to find her Romeo? Ahhh...LOVE <3

 But the reason we're writers is because we LOVE to write. We notice things. We observe people and the world around us and we relish the moments. We want to put into words the beautiful, amazing things happening around us. We need to! 

With that said, I took my writer friend's advice and LIVED!

And guess what? That's all I needed to do. The words started flowing. And I found my voice again. The words became clearer.

So go out there, have some fun, experience LIFE and do something daring. You never know what story you might get out of it!



Two friends who spent a long time looking for love, but realized sometimes all you need is a girlfriend to lean on!





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A Good Query Letter

Is it really about the query letter? Is less really more? I will be the first to answer YES to both of these.

A month ago I sent out my first query to about ten or so agents. Sadly, my query was long. As in, I had to resize to 11-point font Times New Roman to get it all on one page. Even though I liked it and everyone who proofed it seemed to like, I still wasn't sure of it. Something in my gut kept second guessing everything. And by last Friday, I had seven rejections and one 'yes' for a full. However, the query I sent to the 'yes' agent was an abbreviated version of the one I had sent the rest of the agents. The reason for that? I had a published author look at it and she was like..."umm, too long. This is a synopsis not a query..." And she helped me shorten. Hello, Christie. That should've been your first big hint.

I took a week and a half off from sending queries because I attended the Midwest Fiction Writers Meeting and learned pointers from some great women (and men) and was really skeptical of my query afterwards. I was totally impressed by this group. I didn't know what to expect or who would be there. Yet, I felt super comfortable and VERY welcome, which was pretty sweet. One gal, Amanda Carlson, came up to me after the meeting and gave me her name and website. Of course, an hour later I was following her on Twitter and reading every bit of information on her website. I emailed her a brief summary of my query and my one-sentence pitch. She responded with, "Not a big enough hook. You need to make it tighter."

Yet, the right words weren't coming and everything I wrote looked goofy. After a quick vacation (and much needed break) to Arizona and hiking up a monstrous mountain (twice), I had time to think and clear my head. I was putting too much pressure on making everything perfect. It's my darn Type-A personality - I love perfection. The most important lesson was I needed to write for me again. I just needed to let my own voice out and think like an agent. What busy person wants to thumb through a million query letters over a page long. Hook them and get to the point. I know as a graphic designer, I like white space. As a manager, I look for personality. It's easy to teach someone skills, but nearly impossible to train someone to get a personality!! For heaven's sake Twitter gives me 140 characters and when I'm optimizing our web pages at work, I have 60 characters to make our company searchable with a few keywords.

On the plane ride back, I was inspired and the words came. The difference: my latest query is about 250 words and I - AM - CONFIDENT sending it! So yesterday I sent out seven queries. Today two. In 30 minutes from sending one of them out yesterday, I had a request for a full. Today, two hours later, I had a request for the first 50 pages and a synopsis. Plus, my awesome crit pal, Julie Lindsey, had an inspirational post on her blog about 'getting some cheerleaders'. It totally motivated me to stay focused on my dream!

Also if you've been reading my blog, you'll see I entered another writing contest. I had to write the first 250 words of my manuscript. I realized after I posted and didn't get picked for the 312-words writing contest, something was missing and maybe I needed to rework my first chapter. And thanks to both contests, I was able to see that. So I revised. I don't know the results of the 250-word contest yet, but I can tell you I love my new Chapter One and the agent who requested my full yesterday read the first three chapters and wrote, "I'd be delighted to read your full manuscript."

Yesssssssssssss!!! I screamed. This learning stuff is fun. Oh, writing, how I love you!!!!!!!


Watch out Black Mountain! Here we come!! (Cave Creek, Arizona)

Reached the top!! Booyah! We don't mess around!

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A Request for a Full!!!

The email came on Friday. "Kim is interested in seeing your full manuscript."

Now picture complete silence. My mouth dropping, eyes wide as saucers and complete panic rushing through my blood.

There was more to the email but that sentence was all I read before immediately calling my husband. I don't know what I said to him. I think I panted in the phone for awhile before making sense.

I was walking into Rainbow Foods, checking my BlackBerry (again) and almost passed out when the email came through. So I turned around and sat back in my car. My heart stopped. It really did. I felt it. A bunch of texts came through. Tears stung my eyes when my husband wrote, "no matter what happens, I'm proud of you." Who could top that? Nothing. Yes, he's amazing.

The first time I received a request for a follow-up email from my three-sentence pitch was in Wal-Mart while I bought groceries the week before.

Are you noticing a pattern here? I like food. And I guess I like to grocery shop. And Kim must know this. Ha. I could hear noises like never before. I felt like I was swimming in green beans and tomatoes. They were all I could focus on, and my breathing. For a second I thought I was back snorkeling in Mexico, listening to each sharp breath.

I stared at the blurry shopping list in my hands. Nothing made sense. What was produce again? How many onions? An old war vet raised his brows and smiled at me at least five times as I spun in circles wondering what the hell I was doing. I threw things in my cart. Went up and down the same aisle at least four times. Then I started talking to myself out loud. I'm sure I looked manic.

And for a second, for a split second, I felt it. A dream coming true. And I wanted to grab it and keep it. I wanted it to be mine forever. I've never been so close!!! All the dreaming, hard work, focus and determination were worth a tiny taste of knowing what this could really feel like. And I want it even more. I want this. I'm going to get there. And I've never been more sure of anything in my life (well, besides marrying my love Karl).

I could have floated out of the store. I wanted to keep the 'high' more than anything. I wanted to bottle the moment, knowing it would disappear faster than a damn blink.

My hands shook. My stomach ached. I needed to get away. And I forgot half the groceries.

Then just as fast as the pure joy and glory washed over me, doubt, worry and fear started to sneak in. I tried pushing it away. But it wreaked havoc on my stomach. And I can't figure out if I ate too much whole wheat pasta or if it was the overkill of asparagus...or nerves....lots and lots of them...

Is my stuff good enough?
Will it be exactly what she's looking for?
Will I hear..."yes"! or will it be "no"?
Will this be my only chance?
Will I become a 'published' author?
Will I be able to make my dream come true?

I don't know. It's all I can think about. And this is one of those times I wish I could fast forward into the future and know the outcome so I can prepare my emotions. But I can't. This is the story of life. I can bust my ass. I can research, learn and keep on writing. But only God knows and this is what makes each day precious. Sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail. I guess it's what we do after that, that really defines us.

Here's to dreaming!




All that's worth cherishing, begins in the heart - Suzane Chapin

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This is it...don't get scared now....

Drum roll please.....

I did it! I did it! I did it! I sent my first set of query letters for Wanted: Groom for My $100K Wedding out!

Am I panicking? Yes. Am I nervous as hell? Yes. Did I lose a bunch of sleep the past few days? Yes. Do I think I did the best I could? In my mind, yes, but note the emphasis on "in my mind". But as with everything in life, there are plenty of lessons to be learned. If I don't get any bites, then it's time to change up the query letter and see what happens.  

So what's next?
1. Perfecting my 2-3 page synopsis. It's done, but I like perfection...too bad I don't have this same mentality when it comes to cleaning our house.
2. Perfecting my 353-page manuscript for the millionth time. Yes, it's done...but see #1.
3. Continuing researching and querying agents until I'm blue in the face.
4. Updating Ella Dirk's (my main character) Twitter account (@never_says_no) and her Facebook account (Note: I won't be mad if you choose to 'like' it)
5. Waiting and hoping for that one agent phone call/email saying..."We love it! We want more!"
6. Putting tape on my fingers so I can stop the nail-biting madness. Karl now calls them cuticles...not fingernails. I honestly have NO nails. None. Gone. Gross.

So now you know where I've been hiding, that, and I just got back from a wonderful Mexico trip with my in-laws (I'm still working on a way I can thank them...any ideas would be appreciated). And there will be more to come on my thoughts on Mexico in my next Strib blog since I had such a bad experience there ten years ago and whined about it in a post on Blogger. You'll be happy to know that Mexico and I are back together. 

Please send all the good vibes you can my way. I'll be here living in my fantasy bubble and dreaming big things!

A quote from the calendar on my desk that made me smile:

Every person's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers.
- Hans Christian Andersen

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