Done Done Done with Breastfeeding - 14 Months

Done Nursing - Bittersweet

I am done with nursing. I quit at 14 months. Why am I so bummed?

I mean, nursing is a LOT of work.

A lot.

I won't sugarcoat it.

I will also tell you it's the most amazing bonding experience.

I'm still happy:) P.S. One of my daddy's patients made this train for me.

The first time I experienced nursing I spent several LONG minutes, sometimes HOURS trying to figure it out each and EVERY time...and there were a lot of times (try 11+ times a day).

You will sweat and your neck begins to hurt, your back aches. Your nips go raw, they bleed....they scream at you in pain. Then you finish a session (success!) ONLY to do it all over again an hour or two later. Your life REVOLVES around nursing that first month (OK...Truth? Try more like the first 6 months), or until you get the hang of it. It's nuts. Then you start pumping. And you are so doggone tired that the last thing you want to do is wake up in the middle of the night to PUMP after a nurse session. But you do. And you don't know how you're doing it. You don't even know who you are anymore. A feeding machine? A milk maker?

Then you have pump parts to clean. And bottles to wash out and bags to fill with milk and label and to stack just perfectly in the freezer. Then you move those into a gallon bag and mark it up and put it in the deep freezer...and wash more pump parts and bottles. And not to mention the HUGE pump bag you have to carry to and from work every day, along with lunch and your coffee or tea... Heaven forbid the wires pop off in the parking lot. And the times you have to leave a meeting or go pump throughout the day at work. The comments people will make...You learn a different approach to working.

So yes, nursing is a lot of work.

But it's also amazing. It's between mom and baby. You learn to SLOW down. To APPRECIATE your body. Appreciate LIFE. To LOVE your body. It helps you transition into a motherly role more... Or at least it did for me. I was forced to sit down. I was forced to stop and focus on Jackson and Jackson alone. I studied him at all hours of the night. We bonded in a way nobody else will get to. There are other ways besides nursing to feel that connection, but it truly has been a special time. And in the bigger realm of things, it's only a year. I look back and I feel like that went fast. But I also look back and get nervous about having to do that ALL OVER AGAIN in the coming years... So yes, it does feel like a year, but no it doesn't. Did I clear that up? Ha.

After Jackson's first birthday, he was only nursing in the morning and night. I took away the morning nurse and kept that nighttime feeding for as long as I could. Then last Wednesday came and Jackson decided to use me as a chew toy. And the next night. And then the next. I couldn't take it anymore so I stopped. He went down just fine. We instead read books and snuggled. Then did our nightly prayers and he was out. Just like that. Since he's been born, I've let him take the lead and it's worked out great. But he is also a very strong-willed little man.

Now for me... OUCH. My right side is fine, the left...it's a bag full of marbles and huge. I just hope the pain goes away...

All I can say is I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yiiippppppeeeee!!! Now, to enjoy this summer and have a few cocktails without too many worries. Don't worry, I'll behave:)

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Nursing for an Entire Year!!!

I DID IT. I DID IT.

There are only a handful of moments in my life where I get an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. You know what I'm talking about. The proud moments in your life. The times you feel like you are on top of the world. You faced something hard head on and SUCCEEDED.

Bye-bye pumping station. Until next time...

For me, these have been...

1. Earning the title of MVP on my high school volleyball team
2. Earning an athletic scholarship
3. Letting parts of my past go as much as I wanted to hang on to them (learning forgiveness)
4. Becoming Chancellor Scholar Athlete of the Year my final year in college
5. Earning a 3.8 GPA a couple semesters in a row during college and graduating in four years (while balancing 18 credits, playing volleyball and holding a part-time job)
6. Moving to Minnesota on a whim knowing only my brother
7. Starting over from heart break, empty and lost and building incredible amazing new relationships with strangers who are now some of my bestest friends
8. Allowing myself to be vulnerable in front of hundreds of people
9. Marrying my husband
10. Traveling and exploring parts of the world
11. Writing an entire 300+ page novel
12. Giving birth to my son Jackson
13. ....and now this...

I talked about this awesome feeling in an earlier post. The day when you wake up and you feel it... MAGIC. You do something for YOU - something HARD and GRUELING and CHALLENGING, but you keep getting up and keep on truckin' because you know when you finish, you'll feel so damn proud of yourself, it's ridiculous.

The moment when you realize how strong you really are. 

I don't need anyone else slapping me on the back or handing me an award. It's a feeling that I've only created and I'm treasuring it.

I successfully nursed for an entire year. Why is this such a big deal for me? Maybe because nursing was SO hard for me. SO SO SO hard. Painful. A HUGE time commitment. But I knew if I kept at it, I could and would do it. And I did.

I remember at 6 weeks, I thought a year seemed so incredibly far away. I was cracked and bleeding and so sore. Every latch made me feel like one of Dexter's victims - like he was sticking his razor blade to my skin drawing blood for one of his slides. I wasn't sure I could hang on. But I did. People told me to give up, but I wanted this. I needed this. Maybe a control thing? Maybe because I'm crazy? I don't know. 

Three pumps a day at work, 5 days a week, 25 minutes a time...in a smelly, gross bathroom. Yes, I know...law says I shouldn't have to pump in a bathroom. Sadly, it was my only option. At 8 months I dropped a pump. I was pumping twice a day at work. 11 months I went to once a day. This week Jackson turned one, and I'm doing one pump for 5-10 minutes each day. Next week I drop all pumps.

At least Jackson likes my pump parts...

So tell me this. Why am I sad??? I hate lugging that big ol' pump bag around and cleaning my parts and bottles out every night. Drives me crazy. And now I'm sad!?!?!? What gives?

This is when I know the moment is pure. Real. One that means something. And I grow. I'm a force to be reckoned with.

I DID IT.

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Is Making My Own Baby Food Really that Hard? - Month 5

Trying New HEALTHY Baby Foods

 

Jackson has now been eating solids for a full month. I was a little nervous about him eating solids at four months just because all these studies show that if you start babies on solids too soon, they have a higher chance of getting food allergies. Are these studies accurate? I don’t know. One day we’re supposed to be drinking coffee. The next we’re not. We can eat egg yolk. Then we can’t.

So what is it???

But Jackson was definitely ready, and I knew it. He was giving us all the signs, especially going from sleeping 5-7 hours a night to 2-3 hour spurts a night and needing mom's milk a LOT. He was guzzling 5.5 ounces three times a day at day care too and cried for more. He was growing and moving tons and burning through all that milk and our pediatrician saw that first hand.  

Yep, holding his own spoon!!!

 

First thing we offered Jackson was organic whole grain rice cereal mixed with my breast milk. He did NOT want anything to do with it the first feeding. Made me sad just because he was looking at me like what are you doing??? Help me! But we were also battling his evening meltdown. So we learned that we had to feed him around 5:30/6:00, any later and we were in trouble.

Day two, things weren’t that much better. More crying. And more looking at me like…NO! I want you, mom!!!

Finally day three, he seemed a little interested. Took a couple spoonfuls and thought about it. Then was done.

Day four, he was grabbing the spoon himself and wanting to feed himself and making “mmmm” sounds. So CUTE!

After each meal, I nurse Jackson too. Right now he'll maybe eat 3-10 minutes per side after eating solids. There are times he arches his back and screams though. But I have noticed he's very efficient at eating now. I also nurse him right before he goes to bed an hour or two later. It's a short feeding. Sunday night he FINALLY slept through the ENTIRE night. YESSSSSSSSS.

I wouldn’t say eating all of a sudden became easy after he accepted the food because it’s a messy process. Jackson loves sticking his hands in his mouth while he has just taken in a bunch of cereal. He loves grabbing for the spoon. The food runs down his chin, down into his neck, onto his clothes. Sometimes he’ll sneeze or cough and it goes into mom’s eye. All that fun stuff.

Healthy, yummy goodness

 

What we needed was a good bib. And thanks to Karl’s cousin (who has three boys), she gave us a few bibs after Jackson was born and said they were a must. She had to search all over for them but found them at K-Mart! She was right. Nothing compares to these bibs. The brand: Dex Baby.

Best bibs ever!

 

After two solid weeks of the rice cereal mixed with my breast milk, we moved on to homemade avocados also mixed with my breast milk. He liked those a lot and didn’t make any disgusted faces at all.

I let him enjoy for a week and then moved on to organic whole grain oatmeal. He made some faces with this. Three days of oatmeal and we’ve moved on to homemade sweet potatoes.

OK...but the honest problem is: I have been flying through my breast milk when mixing with the cereal and a lot of times he doesn’t eat it all. So I have toss. What!??!? Toss my hard pumped liquid gold breast milk??? Such a waste. So I made the tough decision to mix in water and a little formula when it comes to the cereal. Does that mean I’m a bad mom? Does that mean I don’t “exclusively breastfeed”??? Who knows. Labels. Annoying. It's like I'm not part of the popular crowd anymore or something.  

Getting ready to freeze the sweet potatoes

 

Pretty simple to make all Jackson’s fruits and veggies though. I simply heated the sweet potatoes up in the microwave and scooped out all the goodness and pureed it. Same with the avocados. Scooped out the insides and pureed (didn’t heat those up though)….sometimes still adding my breast milk to these to smooth it out.

Glad we registered for this awesome wedding gift. Putting it to use now!

 

Now Jackson opens his mouth as soon as I sit down in front of him. And he smiles and says, “Mmmmm.”

I’m going to have a lot of fun with this!!! Jackson gets to try all kinds of fruits and veggies and I'm hoping this will make him less of a picky eater in the future and give his immune system some “good army guys” to battle off all those bugs out there.

What's your baby's favorite dish?

 

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Peek into a Working Mom's Day with a 4.5 Month Old

We seem to always want what we don't have at the moment

I was telling a couple people the other day how I’m kind of grateful I was single for eight years while in my twenties. If I knew back then I’d be saying this now, I think I would’ve cried. Overtime, I’ve started to accept that God did have a plan for me back then and still does now. He works in such ways…

Why? Well, back then I learned how to become self-sufficient and I learned a lot about myself and that not everything comes easy. That was really the time I became an adult. And I needed to become one before I ever became a mom to Jackson - to be the best mom. I loved how one of my high school friends wrote on my Facebook wall, “God knew that YOU would be the perfect mom for Jackson.”  Thanks Megan! Needed to hear that.

Trying out his Johnny Jump Up for the first time

 

Back then, I whined a lot about how I wished I could find someone to take care of me. I wanted someone with man muscles to buy the 40 pound bag of salt for my water softener and pour it in for me. I wanted someone else to have to remember to change the furnace filters and pay bills, manage the money. I wanted someone to tell me not to worry about money and pay for everything. To change the batteries in the smoke detectors and a flat tire on my car. To balance the checkbook. To have meals waiting for me. I wanted someone to clean all four toilets and empty the dishwasher.

But most of all I just wanted someone to LOVE me for me.

I wanted… I wanted… I wanted…

And I waited.

It was clear this person did not exist…or at least I needed to change my expectations a little.

What I needed was to be single and learn the responsibilities of life. I needed to be patient and just let things be.  "My time would come," I'd hear from a zillion people.

TIMING was everything. Timing IS everything. I realize this more and more the older I get.

This world revolves around time a lot.

Now that I’m a mom… There is NEVER down time. Ever. There are no happy hours. No volleyball games after work. No quick trips to the mall. My break right now is the 20-minute drive from work to daycare Monday through Friday. I don’t count the drive into work because I’m still waking up. Yesterday I didn’t even remember where I was driving to and realized I missed my turn and was going in the wrong direction. Oh, the joys!

A typical day during the work week goes something like this. I’ll start from 12:01 a.m. – a brand new day!

1:20 a.m. Feeding time. Jackson rolls around in his crib like mad (butt high up in the air) and his head crashes into the railings waking him and us up. If he won’t calm down, I change his diapers (sometimes Karl will help with this!) snuggle him up and feed him. Once done eating, I put him back down.

Butt high!

 

2:00 a.m. Mom goes back to bed. Usually I’ll fall asleep within 15 minutes. Usually.

5:30 a.m.  Alarm is set to go off for work (I have YET to hear it go off – Jackson gets to me first). This gives me enough time to feed Jackson. If his last feeding is anywhere before 2:30 a.m., I feed him again before we drop him off at daycare. If it’s after 2:30, I can sleep until 6:00!!!!! Woot.

6:00 a.m. If I feed him at 5:30, I put a sleepy Jackson back into his crib and jump in the shower. I think about shaving my legs, but that requires too much work. I pretend to sleep as I stand under the water. Quickly apply makeup, sing to Karl to get up (he grunts) and I head downstairs.

6:30 a.m. Water outside plants. Fill out a report for Jenna (home care) to let her know when Jackson ate last, how he slept, and any other notes. Grab frozen bags of breast milk if I need to. Fix myself oatmeal, fill my pumping machine bag with bottles and lids off the drying rack, pump parts, hands-free bra, cooler bag and ice pack. Make sure Jackson’s travel bag has extra pair of clothes in it, with his hat and any teething toys. Sing again to Karl to get up but this time from the bottom of the stairs (it gets louder). Turn on the news. Start coffee. Eat oatmeal. Make sure bowl for rice cereal is out for Jackson, spoon is ready for when I get home from work.

6:45 a.m. Swallow vitamins. Pull out our healthy lunches. Go upstairs and get dressed, fix hair, give Jackson a kiss goodbye and smooch up Karl who is now looking at me like a tired desperate puppy dog, begging for more sleep.

7:00 a.m. Head for work. Try to find a radio station with music, no talking. Hard to do. I need music. Pop in a CD that skips over and over. Fight traffic. Guzzle coffee. Can’t tell you what I think about…other than I just try to wake up.

7:30 a.m. Arrive at work. Email Jenna to make sure Jackson arrived and all is well. She usually gets to me first and gives me a happy report. Then my work day begins.

9:00 a.m. First pumping session. Check in on Jackson. Go over my To-Do list for week. Check email, Facebook, look for easy, healthy recipes on Pinterest (saving grace). Review drafts of any blog posts.

9:30-12:00 Work

12:00 Second pumping session. Check in on Jackson. Go over my To-Do list for week. Hope to cross some things off. Check email, Facebook, look for recipes on Pinterest (saving grace). Review drafts of blog posts.

12:30-12:45 Eat lunch at desk most days. Try to step away for a little bit. Sometimes will call my momma! Sometimes will take 30 minutes to run an errand. Sometimes will just go on a quick walk to breathe.

12:45-2:00 Work

2:00 Go wash all pumping parts in lunchroom.

2:05-3:00 Work

3:00 Third pumping session. Check in on Jackson. Go over my To-Do list for week. Keep adding to it…

3:30-4:00 Work

4:00 Grab bottles of milk from work fridge and ice pack. Calculate how much I pumped for the day. Head out of the door. Tie up hair, roll down windows, turn up music and sing on top of my lungs. Think about if I’ll get to work out. Or if I’ll have enough energy to write a few pages in my manuscript.  What was I going to make for dinner again? Who was I supposed to call back?

4:30 Pull up to home care. Melt when I see Jackson. Nothing else matters except him at that moment. Give him his medicine (needs to take it 30 minutes before eating). Chat with Jenna and her adorable kids. Leave feeling SO blessed to have found her. EVERY TIME.

*4:30-5:00 Drive home. Read Jackson’s report from Jenna at all the stoplights. Find out when he ate last. When he pooped. His last diaper change. The things he did. How much he ate in ounces. Figure in if I’ll have to pump any extra times to make up for any of the ounces drank. Wonder where that milk will come from? Feeling tapped out. Stress about it. Will I make it to 6 months? 7? A full year of breast feeding?

5:00 Grab all ten things of stuff from my car and set them inside. Grab Jackson (who is usually sleeping) and haul him in. Quickly pull out dirty pump parts from bag and put them next to sink. Take out all four bottles of milk and stick them in the fridge. Fill his bowl with cereal and pour b-milk in it – stir up. Pull out recipe for dinner I’ll be making. Try to make it to the bathroom quick before Jackson stirs.

5:15 Pull out an awake Jackson from his car seat. Hug him and kiss him to pieces. Tell him how much I love him and miss him. Breathe him in. YUMMY. Change him if I need to upstairs. Grab My Brestfriend to nurse him after he eats solids. Stir up his rice cereal again. Set him in his highchair. Put a bib on him and start feeding him. He tries to grab spoon every time. Not the cleanest moment.

5:30 Nursing time. Check Facebook, email and any missed calls. Maybe watch a show I DVRd. Who was that person I was supposed to try and get back to? I breathe and listen to myself. Rub Jackson’s hair and head.

6:00 PLAY TIME with Jackson. Tons of fun!

I'm gonna start walking soon!

 

6:30 Turn TV on for a second to record Wheel of Fortune. Shut off. Run back and forth from kitchen to Jackson playing. Pull out ingredients for dinner. Try whipping together a healthy meal as best I can.

7:00 Eat. Jackson begins to get fussy. Rubs eyes. Cleanup is not an option. Sometimes we try to fit in a walk here.

7:30 KARL HOME!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Smoochie and huggie bear time. He takes Jackson and will either watch Wheel of Fortune or give Jackson a bath. Sometimes I get to watch Wheel too!I clean up as fast as I can (empty and fill dishwasher) and put leftovers in containers for lunch.

Me likey Whole Grain Rice Cereal

 

7:45 Rats. Didn’t clean up everything or transfer bottles to bags yet. Go upstairs to nurse Jackson. Stick to our nightly schedule of bath or dimmed lights, nurse, book, goodnight prayers and bed.

8:15 Jackson in crib. Sometimes he’s out even before I get him there. Sometimes it’s a little bit of crying. If we mess with the schedule, it’s full out screaming.

8:25 Back downstairs to finish what I started. Karl is back working (but at least I get to see his face)and playing Words with Friends against my brother Mike or talking to his dad. I transfer b-milk from bottles to bags. Bags in freezer. Make sure one bottle is left in fridge so I can add to solids. Clean all parts and bottles first. Hang to dry. Think about pumping. No desire to. When would I?

8:45 Sometimes I’ll have a bowl of ice cream.  Sometimes I’ll throw myself on the couch for 2 minutes.  Sometimes I’ll bust out a draft for a blog post to review while I’m pumping at work the next day.

9:00 SO DEAD TIRED. Up to bed I go. I open one page of a magazine and realize I’m too tired to read anything. Set my alarm, then wonder why I’m even setting it. Say goodnight to my best.

10:00 Sleeping. If my brain shuts off...

*We now have Karl’s parents watch Jackson on Tuesdays. Win win for everyone! This means Karl goes and picks him up after work (if he can and doesn’t have a load of patients) and I CAN GO WORK OUT!!!!!!!!!!

Right now weekends pretty much follow the above, minus pumping and working. Instead there is laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, errands, walking outside and nursing and a lot more playing! Oh, and usually family wants to see us.

So yeah…there are days I wonder why I didn’t enjoy those 8 years a little more. And I get mad at myself for wishing for a different life back then than the one I was walking in. To me, it was pretty AWESOME. That brings me to the question… would I trade this new life in? Not for anything!!!! Bring it on!

Every man dies. Not every man truly lives.

-William Wallace

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Pumping at Work and Breastfeeding - Month 3

15 weeks postpartum

I think two of the most frequently asked questions I get are:

1. "How's the 'pumping' stuff going being back at work?"

and

2. "How long do you think you'll breast feed for?"

Good questions!

I use a bowl to put my parts in and so I can easily wash the pieces in the sink at work

1. How's the 'pumping' stuff going being back at work?
Pumping at work took some adjusting to. But EVERYTHING takes adjusting to! Going into week two, I'm still learning how to get to everything in a work day. I will say my day goes extremely fast. SO fast! Thankfully I work quickly and I can do multiple things at once.

When I was home for those 12 13 weeks (3 months), I would only pump after the first feeding of the day (well minus the first two weeks of crazy when I'd have to pump after every feeding). Sometimes I wasn't able to because Jackson was up for good after and it was just me there with him. There was no way I could set him down so I could pump for 15/20 minutes, so I'd have to wait until he was napping in the afternoon. Every single day I always wondered...will I store enough milk to last as long as I want? There were other times I was completely exhausted at 3:00/4:00 in the morning and crawled back into bed, which usually meant I skipped an entire day all together. Then I'd feel uber guilty. Then there were the other days where Karl would feed Jackson a bottle (we did that only once a week so Karl and Jackson could bond and Jackson wouldn't be surprised once he went to homecare. And no, I don't get out much these days if you haven't been able to tell.). I would then pump. But I never was really building the stash by doing that.

Anyway, when I'd pump after the first feeding, I'd get maybe 2 to 4 ounces and I'm seeing now how fast we're breezing through the stash I worked so hard building up. Whoa. I have only two more big freezer bags left from my "at home" stash. And now two more from my "at work" pump stash. To give you an idea of how fast we went through the "at home" stash....I'd say about 3 to 4 days per big freezer bag.

I've started to panic but Karl's cousin (a working mom of three) is helping me see the bigger picture. I first needed to figure out how many ounces Jackson was eating at homecare and then make sure I'd pump that many ounces at work.

Duh. Makes sense.

Currently Jackson is eating anywhere from 10 to 12.5 ounces total at homecare. He does about three feedings. Homecare started off with 3 ounces each time and in our second week Jackson is up to 4 ounces each time. Our awesome homecare (an exclusive b-feeder of her three kids) realized if she gave the bottle some pressure and Jackson's lips cupped the nipple like he was breastfeeding, he drank a LOT slower and didn't get much air at all and was content with 3 ounces. She is so helpful and amazing!!! We do think he's going through a growth spurt as he's starting to take 4 ounces each time.

I'm currently pumping anywhere from 14 to 19.5 ounces total in my three 15 minute pump sessions. I've also been eating oatmeal and avocados as frequently as I can since I've read and heard that can help build up your supply. Who really knows though, right?

Feeding/Pumping schedule goes like this:
Feed Jackson by 5:30 a.m. - 30 minute feeding
Into work by 7:30 a.m.
Pump 15 minutes at 9:00 a.m.
Pump 15 minutes at 12:00
Not totally getting the best lunch breaks right now - working on that!
Pump 15 minutes at 3:00 p.m.
Leave work by 4:00 p.m.
Feed Jackson between 5:15/6:30 - 30/45 minute feeding
Feed Jackson between 8:15/9:30 - 30 minute feeding
Bed by 9:30/10:00 every night

Seems to be working right now! But babies are so unpredictable and this will probably change some. I *think* I should always have a two-week supply of milk in the freezer. I think. I mean, the math shouldn't lie. I'm just worried when he starts drinking 6-9 ounces at a time. Will I have enough?? But that shouldn't start until he's 6 months old and by then he'll be eating some solids too. ALWAYS a worry in my mind. I wish I could let this stuff go!

I'm trying to stick to my work pumping times since I have to pump in one of the bathrooms upstairs and I need to let employees know the times so they can work their bathroom breaks accordingly. There is no other room to go in that is private in the entire building. That part is a little tough but there isn't much I can do. I hate feeling like I'm a nuisance. But then I keep telling myself by breastfeeding I'm helping keep our healthcare costs down. I'm doing my part! Ha! Ha!

Things I've learned from pumping at work:
1. Buy extra parts
I have enough parts to cover me for two pump sessions without having to wash anything. After everyone's lunch breaks, I head down to the sink in the kitchen and clean both parts for my afternoon session. I must keep an ample supply of dish soap for this.

2. Buy a big bowl to wash your parts in.
I don't trust our sink at work. People throw their dirty stuff in the sink and don't really do their own dishes. Anyway, I know my bowl is clean so I wash parts in there. I do have the quick clean wipes and steam bags, but I just don't feel like they do a good enough job cleaning up the parts.

3. Pump into bottles versus bags.
The entire time I was at home, I'd pump directly into Medela storage bags, store them in the fridge and then move to our freezer and then put a bunch of them into a freezer bag and store in our deep freezer. What I'm realizing is the ounces are off by one on all storage bags. Does this make sense? I'm kind of confused about this. The bags show you pump more than a bottle shows. Goofy. Why don't they fix this? To get accurate numbers, I now pump in Medela bottles, bring my Medela cooler storage bag and freezer pack and store this in our fridge at work. I put my bottles in this so they aren't exposed and freak anyone out. When I get home, I then pour the milk from the bottles into storage bags and stick in the freezer.

4. Buy a hands-free bra
I use this ALL the time so I can read a magazine or catch up on Facebook or stare at my baby's picture on my cell while I'm in the bathroom, sitting on a comfy chair I stole from the conference room...otherwise it's so gray, smelly and blah in there... I also turn the vent on so people outside the bathrooms can't hear what's going on.

5. Take things lightly
I've had co-workers stop me in the hallway on my way out of the bathroom with my hands full of bottles of b-milk. Men especially get embarrassed and kind of stare at the floor and walk away. I just have to let it go.


2. How long do you think you'll breastfeed for?

I get asked the question a lot. When I was pregnant and naive about how time consuming and hard breastfeeding can be, I said a full year. I'd LOVE for this statement to still ring true, but I don't know? I really hope I can. I also hope I can get out a little more because I'm always racing to homecare or home so Jackson gets me rather than a bottle. It's kind of nuts. I was proud of myself for making it to three months, that was my NEW goal. Now I take it month by month. I want only the best for Jackson and I know breast milk is the best for him; however, I also need to be happy and content and have somewhat of a life because when mom is happy, EVERYONE is happy!

How did you survive breastfeeding while working? Any tips?

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