Transitioning to a Daycare Center - Jackson 11 Months

Daycare center two days a week

So we did it. We put Jackson in a center two days a week. This has been HARD on me. HARD. HARD. HARD. Am I freaking out about the germs? Yes. Am I worried Jackson isn’t getting the one-on-one time he gets with me or Karl’s parents or our previous in-home daycare? Yes. Am I worried he’s crying all day long? Yes. Am I worried he thinks I’ve left him at a strange place? Yes. Am I worried he could possibly disown me? Yes. Am I worried he’s eating unhealthy food? Yes.

 

Picture sent to me from Jackson's new daycare. Looks like he's having fun!

 

Like I said this is HARD!!!

But there are reasons we did this. First, we are both working parents. With Jackson at in-home daycare - when those sweet kids caught a bug - I’d have to stay home. Anyone knows this winter has been BRUTAL with illness. And it was ME who was staying home and burning through all my time off. We need my job. And every time I stayed home, I’d get more and more behind and more and more anxious. What was work thinking? Would I lose my job?

It’s been tough. Plus our in-home care was ready for a new chapter in her life. Of course we wanted to honor this. So it was time for us to move on as hard as it was on ALL of us. But we adopted them all as our family. For real. We love them that much. Like...LOVE THEM. This isn’t goodbye!!! Helloooo play dates!

Secondly, Jackson is 11 months old. He is getting older before our eyes and is going to keep growing. I want him to be around kids. I need him to be. I need him to learn to be in a center kind of setting. I need him to get into a different routine, see a different environment – to learn new things. Before I know it, he’s going to be heading to preschool. He’ll be ready for it. And it’ll be easier on me too.

I am leaning on God like crazy right now. My non-existent fingernails are down to my knuckles but I am praying constantly. The second I doubt anything, I’m talking to God. I need him more than ever right now. I feel guilty we haven’t been to church, but I feel like God is carrying me right now. He isn’t far. I don’t feel so alone when I’m conversing with him. This also tells me I need to make sure Jackson has the best relationship he can with God because I need him to lean on him too when he goes through the hard stuff. Nothing is impossible with God. WE NEED HIM.

Really, mom...I'm OK.

 

So I have been telling myself germs are OK. Jackson is building up his immune system. Remember…somehow Jackson avoided getting my stomach bug or the pneumonia Grandpa Jim had or the influenza my mom had and all of us were drooling all over him. Something must be working…

He IS getting one-on-one time from me and Karl’s parents. And that is AWESOME. He is learning patience at the center. Which is something we all need more of.

Would I be doing this sweet move if I was mad? Nope!

 

I have been told to give this new change a few weeks. Yes, he will cry, but the end results will be positive. Sometimes we have to go through really HARD STUFF to get to the GOOD STUFF. And like Jillian Michaels said on The Biggest Loser – we wake up every day and we go about our day and we bust our butts and keep going because one morning we wake up and WE FEEL IT. MAGIC.And that moment is AMAZING and the BEST DAY OF OUR LIFE. We get a TASTE. It’s not forever but that feeling is ridiculous and awesome. We’ve all been there. We know what it feels like to be on top of the world. So we keep going and we keep waking up fighting so we get to that most perfect day again…and AGAIN. I’m waiting for it all to click for Jackson and for him to be OK with being dropped off at the center. I’m ready for MAGIC!

I’m trying to be better about the food at the center. I can’t control everything he puts in his mouth. I could if I was stay-at-home, but I’m not. So I have to accept the fact that he might eat white breads and canned fruits and veggies. BUT…I am on a mission to change this. It’s time to educate centers and schools. We are facing some serious problems out there but at the same time, we’re to blame…

For now, I’m here… praying, praying, praying.

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Traveling with a 10.5 Month Old

Flying to Carefree, Arizona

We flew with Jackson to Arizona for the second time. The first time he was 4 months old. This time he was 10.5 months old.

Our family of three in Arizona

 

I can’t tell you how nice it is having a brother who travels all the time, who is willing to share his frequent flying perks with us (i.e. Diamond status). We again were able to use the Delta club so Jackson kept busy as we waited to board and we enjoyed free snacks and drinks and comfortable chairs. We were also able to take up an entire row on the airplane and bring Jackson's car seat with us. *cartwheel*

A world of difference. Jackson nursed and he was out the entire flight. Yep, it was really that easy.

I started to feel funny, but I waved it off as nothing…

We started to descend and I nursed him again. And then Jackson was up, which was good because he was able to greet Grandpa Gary and Uncle Smike at the gate.

Loved being outside all day and checking out everything

 

I still felt icky when we arrived at my parent’s place but thought maybe it was the nerves wearing off. Again, I got myself so worked up before we left – I was so scared we’d have a screaming baby.

When I woke that morning, I had the full on flu. Chills, fever, aching skin, you name it. GROSS. The sun was out, but I knew the next days were going to be cold and raining…maybe even snow!!! I tried so hard to get out of bed, but my body kept forcing me back to sleep. The next two days were like this. Then my mom went down. Then my grandma. Then my uncle. Then my dad. Then my brother. Somehow Jackson and Karl missed the evil bug. The next two days were COLD and rainy. It was the same temperature in Arizona as it was in Minnesota. Go figure.

It finally got nice enough to go for walks!!! SO NICE!

 

Jackson was actually napping OK this time around. I would have to force longer naps on him every now and again by staying in the room because I knew he was tired. He’d get up once or twice during the night and changing his diaper was a bear. My parents couldn’t believe it took three people to change him. He’s OK at home, but anywhere else… Dear God. What a challenge.

Dad dressed me:)

 

This was also our first time giving Jackson baby food from packets and glass jars. And let me tell you…his poop was so much different. WHOA. We haven’t experienced a blowout yet, and we got close with the different textures coming out of him… He also didn’t eat a whole lot in Arizona because so much was going on at all times.

Jackson LOVES LOVES puppies. He even says..."Pup, Pup"

 

Karl and I were able to go on walks!!! Even in the frozen tundra of a desert. That was my ONE expectation for us. I wanted to be able to go on a few walks. That’s about as simple as I need to make my expectations when traveling. AND…Karl and I were also able to go out for a lunch. Sure my brother came, but it was the fact that we were getting out of the house. My stomach still wasn’t right, but I was glad we made it out.

Jackson loves his Uncle Smike.

Had a blast with Grandma!!

 

The flight back was a bit challenging. We were told they were full and we couldn’t move the guy sitting between us. However, @DeltaAssit (thank GOD for Twitter) got things moving and at the VERY last minute, we were able to move the guy in the middle and steal the whole row again and take on our car seat!!!! Jackson wasn’t as eager to go down this time around. We were now facing Daylight Savings Time (a two hour difference) and flying during supper time. So…a few screams and he was finally down.

Love playing with this lil guy

 

We arrived in Minnesota exhausted and stressed to the max and decided we won’t be traveling for a little while. BUT the more we do it, the better it becomes. I will say that.

Spent most of our time on the deck!

 

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Jackson at 10.5 Months Old

Action Jackson is on the Loose

Jackson is into EVERYTHING right now. And he is incredibly fun to be around. He crawls so fast he can’t keep up with his head. Not kidding. It’s the cutest thing to watch. His head bobs down as he flies down the hall and he tries so hard to lift it back up but he is going SO FAST. We can’t help but giggle.

Want me in your ad, New Balance?

It’s hard for me to do anything when Jackson is awake, so I really don’t (hence why there are fewer blog posts). I don’t mind playing with him either because I love when he discovers something new. All the things we are used to and take for granted are SO new and exciting for him. Like a box full of oranges. These are the coolest things on the planet right now. Who knew?

World's strongest baby

And then there are those bathroom breaks. I can’t pass Jackson off to someone else when I have to go to the bathroom. Down goes the vase and fake flowers. So I try to busy him with other things as you can see in the picture. After all, I do need to use the bathroom…

He loves knocking over our speakers, which we have now tied up. He’ll still digs up our plants. The night we left for Arizona he stuck an entire fist into the dirt and before I could get to him…into his mouth it went. All I heard was “MMMMMMMMMMM”. Black lips. Black teeth. So, he likes dirt. Great. Good fiber, maybe??

He opens doors like nobody’s business. And he’ll pull everything out that’s in a cabinet. DVDs, paper, the smallest piece of plastic, a crumb, CDs, you name it. He gets so excited that he sometimes loses his balance and falls face first into the wood. He shaved some skin off his nose when he face met sharper wood. And I was standing RIGHT THERE. He is so fast.

Up and down the stairs Jackson goes. He is SO incredibly smart that he turns around when he comes to the stairs and goes down backwards, thanks to Grandma Judy’s training sessions.

What’s up with MOM?

The past month has been pretty hard on me. And here I thought I was getting over all the hard stuff. I’ve now accepted that the hard stuff is really only beginning. Labor? Cha… Yeah, it hurt for 37 hours, but that is nothing compared to the day to day stuff now.

But I am working on my reaction to things. Meaning, a better attitude, more positivity and celebrating the small successes. I’ve been faced with a lot of changes in a short amount of time:

• Right now I’m adjusting to a bigger workload at my job. Our department is spending a lot of time organizing other departments within our company and that has created a ton of work. I wear a lot of hats in my position. I kind of feel like that one children’s book, Caps for Sale. One second I have one cap on and quickly I’m putting another one over that one, until I have a ton stacked on top of one another and a wobbly head. Ha. I do like being busy – the days go so fast - but I do like coming up for air every once in a while.

• Karl’s work is ridiculous and I feel like it’s really taking its toll on both of us. I don’t know what else to say about that. He is working ALL THE TIME. I feel like he’s MISSING OUT on Jackson’s first year. I miss him and I really would LOVE more of him.

• We went on a trip to Arizona to see my family and I caught the stomach bug on our flight in – not to mention it was rainy and cold. It was the first time in the 33 years I’ve traveled there that I never put on a swim suit. Oh, and then everyone got my bug. Everyone but Jackson and Karl. Sorry!

• Upon returning from our stresscation, we put Jackson in a center two days a week. Rough.

• Lastly, Jackson had five teeth that cut through at once. AND I experienced what it feels like to get bit with those sharpies..not just once but time and time again. He goes on strikes. He might nurse from one side but refuses the other so he bites. Or he just starts biting right away. IT HURTS and I'm soooo close to giving in because I'm SO close to the year mark. Let me tell you…Karl thought I was getting murdered when he bit me for the first time. Yes, it hurt that bad.

Throw this all together and you have ONE CRAZY house and one exhausted mom.

Change is HARD, but I’ve realized as a parent, you MUST embrace change or else you will burn a hole in your stomach from the constant worry. I have been leaning on God A LOT. Because I don’t know what else to do.

But I will tell you that Jackson is my world. Laying with him in the hospital bed seconds after labor, I'm not sure if I could ever put into words what I felt. I loved him so much, but there I was and there he was and I had NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON. Everything was SO new and SO scary. AND FOREVER. I didn’t go through a surgery or a procedure and everything was going to be done and back to where it was. Our life from that point forward was different. And I wanted to be PERFECT for Jackson.

Guess what? I am not perfect. There isn’t a manual to follow so I can become perfect either. I never knew how much I have always wanted to be THE BEST at everything. School. Volleyball. My job. Being a wife. My health. My fitness. A friend. A daughter. A sister.

It’s taken me a bit, but now I see I’m doing great without following some checklist because JACKSON LOVES ME. It’s written all over his face. In the way he hugs me. The way he reaches for me. The way he smiles and giggles when he sees me. In the way he crawls to me just so I can pick him up and kiss him all over.

Motherhood has been a process for me. I feel like life is flying by so fast and slapping me in the face constantly and I have no time to slow it down. I haven’t had a moment to sit back and just ENJOY what is going on before us. I keep thinking I will. I thought I would in Arizona, but things continue to pop up and we keep going and going. If that makes sense? I’m always worried about the next thing or I’m busying myself with house work or catching up on laundry or writing grocery lists. Or I’m at work, working. When I do sit down, it’s time for bed or Jackson is down for a nap and I have to fly through a list of projects that normally could wait for the weekend. In short, things are nuts.

Right now though I feel like Jackson and I have this special something going on. I would do ANYTHING for him that’s how much I love him. And that’s not an exaggeration.

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Jackson is 10 Months Old

What's New with Jackson?

9 Month Check-Up

Results of 9 Month Check Up (little behind here):
Weight: 19 1.25 lbs - 21%
Height: 29.5 inches -  82%
Head: 17.75 - 39%

NO SHOTS!!! YAY!


Oh, boy...I'm starting to see my personality shine through our lil guy...

Jackson's pediatrician called him a lean, mean fighting machine. He is one healthy (skinny) little boy. She suggested we start feeding him more fats (i.e. butter) and meats, but I have been giving him chopped up avocado every day, which is loaded with lots of healthy fats. I did try the butter deal but he pretty much threw that up. We did give him breakfast sausage too like she suggested and he is LOVING that. Not the most healthiest in my mind.


Learning how to set the ball. Future volleyball stud.

Healthy Nutrition
Today, as I was eating a banana, Jackson leaned in to get a bite too. Then he gagged. I realize now that maybe it's not the grains he has issues with...maybe it's the banana?? For some reason, he decided he didn't want anything to do with any type of grain. BUT, he will eat our oatmeal cinnamon pancakes. I'm trying to sneak in oatmeal whenever I can.

So far this past month Jackson has tried cauliflower, kale (LOVES!), watermelon, pineapple (LOVES LOVES), sausage, pork loin, quinoa, he's back to eating blueberries, steel cut oats with pumpkin and pumpkin spice, apricots, nectarines, salmon, cod, he had my lasagna dinner and ate the whole thing and ate my Fage Greek Yogurt too... I think that's it? I might be missing a few things but so far he will try everything. He just throws a fit or gags when the banana is involved or grains. BUT if I get some yogurt in there, we seem to be good.

I'm letting Jackson eat more and more of our foods. This was WAY good. WAY!

I make sure to pack a couple pancakes for him every week at daycare, some sausage and lots of veggies for finger food - peas, carrots, broccoli, kiwi, etc.

And yes, people try to feed him cake and sweets... I think they feel bad for him that he's eating so healthy. I don't know.  Try not to let that bother me so much.

Activity
Jackson now walks behind his bike. He will push it and hop on it as well. He will walk beside our coffee table with one hand on it or will go between laundry baskets or cupboard doors without holding on at all for short periods of time. Walking is SO coming.

He crawls up the stairs in record time. He is crazy fast. Action Jackson is ALL over the place.

We took his mobile down in his crib since he was trying to hang from it like a monkey. I realized once that went down, Jackson also went down a lot quicker.

Still wearing size 3 diapers and is fitting in 12-18 month clothes.

Swear this guy would win a crawling contest. He is FAST.

Road Trip and Outings
We took a road trip to see my grandparents in Wild Rose last weekend. We left late on Friday so Jackson could sleep most of the way. He did. The way home was a different story. And dad had a different idea of what he would be doing the entire weekend (ice fishing and fishing for drinks at the bar). Mom wasn't too happy and a break was desperately needed after two hard weeks.

Jackson and Great Grandpa had a special bond

And there was the doll my grandma made. Jackson had to kiss her when he crawled by. SO SWEET.

My grandparents couldn't believe how much Jackson moves and how curious he is. My 86 year old grandpa chased after him while I took a shower. It blows my mind what my grandpa can do at his age. I swear I have the coolest grandparents ever. Mind you, my grandpa has a few clots in his heart, a pig valve and has a little brain leak...

My 86-year-old Grandpa chasing Jackson around

He LOVED looking out the window and sitting on the warm vent at my grandparent's.

Karl's grandparents celebrated their 60th Wedding Anniversary in Gaylord, so we went out there to celebrate. I'm getting better at not feeling like I can't ever leave Jackson's side. I let everyone hold him and grabbed a glass of wine in the other room. I needed a little break and I didn't let the guilt get to me one bit. Jackson and I also polkaed a little bit. He liked the music a lot. It's in his blood.

One good-looking bunch

Celebrating 60 years of marriage!

Playing Mozart with Gpa and Gma Koester

Jackson celebrated his first Valentine's Day! He loved the gifts from Uncle Mark and Aunt Amy and the card with the spinny heart from Gpa and Gma Koester. He couldn't get enough of both.

This plane is awesome!

All in a day's work

Trying to figure out how to stop this crazy heart

This thing never stops spinning!

Got it!

First words
Since 9 Months Jackson has been saying "da-da" and "ba-ba" and "ub-ub' and "ma" and "pa-pa". But a lot of the times he just rambles...UNTIL this week. Karl came home from work and Jackson and I crawled over to the stairs and Jackson kept saying "da-da!". Sweetest ever. Still, it didn't totally register because I thought maybe he was rambling once again. But when I had him in my arms to put him to bed, we walked half-way up the stairs and looked back. Karl peeked his head up the stairway and Jackson shrieked and said "da-da". MELT. MELT. MELT. I seriously felt my heart explode. Karl and I looked at each other with tears in our eyes.

Loves looking over the stairs when "da-da" comes home.

The next day...SAME thing. My heart grew even more. He is just the sweetest little boy ever.

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A Week As a Single Working Mom - 9.5 Months

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! We made it!!!

Put your party hats on!!! We survived the week without dad!

Karl left for educational work training Monday morning (in Vegas...sound rough, huh?) . Today is the day we get to pick him up from the airport! Major props to all those moms out there who are either single or have hubbies who work around the clock. How do you do it??

There was a note left on our kitchen island this week that really made me think. "We never realize how much our husbands do until they go out of town."

Yup. I couldn't agree more.

Sure Karl works late every night and doesn't get home until bath time (7 ish) and goes in on the weekends, but at least I DO see him and get SOME help. In the days leading up to him leaving, I got myself SO worked up that I now have that ugly cough/cold thing going around. A stressed-induced cold. And Jackson has it too. That was just dumb.


Up, mom! Up!

I AM strong enough to handle this mom stuff on my own! Why did I ever doubt? Why do I EVER doubt??? Worry is SUCH wasted energy.

I felt I handled this week quite well, but honestly there was not a second to relax until Friday night - and then I stayed up too late and Jackson woke up too early and we're back to being tired again. Ohhhh, motherhood.

Yessss! Dirt!!!!!!

A quick recap of how a typical day went as a single working mama:

Alarm off at 5:30 a.m. (yes...using an ALARM now!!!!!!! Not just relying on Jackson!!!). No time to hit snooze because Jackson could wake at any minute. Can't deal with him up while trying to shower. Fly through shower-time and make sure I at LEAST get makeup on. I'm OK with wet hair.

Race downstairs to get breakfast going and make sure I have everything ready for daycare. (I did get things prepared the night before but some things are in the fridge and can't be dealt with until the next morning.)

"Ba-Ba! Ahhahahahahah! Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba."

I hear Jackson. Shovel down hot oatmeal as fast as I can and race upstairs.

Fort building time

Play a little peek-a-boo and love and hug up Jackson.  He is extra cute in the morning. Change him while distracting him since he REFUSES to lay still on his back. Like REFUSES. Oh...is that a turd that just flew off the changing table onto the floor? Super. Remember to pick that up later. Changing table straps are tucked underneath the cover (thanks DAD!) and I can't snap Jackson in. Poop on hands. Now what? Set Jackson on the floor. He knocks over diaper pale. BOOM. Carry him kiddy-wampus into the bathroom so I can wash hands. He crawls to toilet and starts banging on it. "No! No! Don't be touching that."

He falls and crawls to the door stopper and pulls of the plastic covering and pops into mouth.

"Nooooooooooo!!!" I dig into his mouth with slippery wet hands.

No...I'm not about to do anything naughty...

He gets mad and crawls off. Yanks out Carbon Monoxide plug in. "No touch, buddy! No touch!"

Carry Jackson into our closet while I try to find something to wear. I pick out an outfit that does not match but hey, pants are NOT wrinkled! YAY! I don't have to deal with ironing. Last morning I tried, Jackson popped off the cap to the distilled water. Soaked his socks and pants. Had to go back to changing him and getting him to lay still. This time pee shot onto his Mum-Mum and into mouth. AWESOME.

Jackson in clean outfit. Mom in something that looks semi-professional and downstairs we go. *Grunt* "Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Look at Jackson and his watery eyes. He grunts more. Back upstairs we go. More poop. Yay!  He rolls and screams some more on the changing table. I'm about one second from losing my mind. Deep breath in. And out. I can do this. Look calm. Jackson can read me, right?

Seriously...when is dad getting home?

Back downstairs we go. Grab all 1567890 bags, make sure all pump parts and bottles and cooler are ready for work. Plop Jackson into car seat. Jackson arches back and screams. Again, this baby does NOT like to be on his back. We wrestle for a good five minutes. What is the deal here? I AM stronger than him and how is he winning??? In and out and in and out of the car seat we go. Finally I grab the kitchen timer and shake vigorously. "Doesn't this look neat buddy???" He scoots his butt in and settles down in car seat. SUCCESS!!! Point for mom!

Off to daycare we go. TRAFFIC JAM!!! A dusting of snow. But nobody can drive. We sit. And sit. Jackson starts wailing. I sing. I bee bop. I talk about nothing. "Hey...doesn't that Sam's Club sign look neat, Jackson?" Then I laugh at myself.

We make it to daycare!!!!!!!!! I'm already 30 minutes late to work. Chat with the awesome Jenna and her kids. Say goodbye to my buddy and off to work I go. I arrive an hour late. Feel the daggers coming out of my coworkers' eyes. I sit down for a second. Oh...what's that? Pumping time already? Off to the bathroom I go to pump.

March back to my desk. Pump out work as fast as I can.  Focus. Text Karl. Text my mom. Email Jenna - check in on Jackson. Work. Think. Worry. Skip taking a lunch break and eat at desk.

Off to get Jackson. Snuggle him up. Go through car seat struggle. Jackson moans on the way home. Sometimes screams. Sometimes babbles. And we arrive home. Carry up car seat and all 456789 bags with me. Put pump parts by sink and milk in fridge. I'll deal with those later. Play with Jackson. Get a bunch of texts and emails but ignore until Jackson goes down. Otherwise he ends up in the dirt or pinching a finger in all the doors he is obsessed with opening or falling or crawling up stairs...or....or. Focus on him. I nurse him. I make his dinner. I TRY making MY dinner. yeah, right. No go. 7:15 arrives. We head up for a bath. Nervous because this is dad's time. But...I make it work and all goes well. Kind of fun... NO wonder dad likes bath time!! We get ready for bed. I nurse. I sing. We cuddle. We read Goodnight Moon and we pray. I like this time a lot. I give thanks for him as crazy as my day is because he is something special. I feel joy. I feel like I just did something amazing. I feel like I accomplished a lot.

Laundry is fun!

I walk downstairs. Throw some food together. Do dishes and crawl right back up and into my own bed. That was EXHAUSTING. Wake up at 1:30 a.m. thinking.... and thinking... and thinking...  until 5.

ANYWAY... WE SURVIVED!!! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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Life as New(er) Parents - Month 9

I thought I'd kind of recap what our life is like now that we have a 9 month old... as Jackson naps.

Here we go...in no particular order:

1. I type fast these days. VERY fast (you'll note more grammatical errors in my blog - yes, they kill me too but can't help it sometimes) because I still don't know what kind of nap out of the two I'm going to get from Jackson. Sometimes it's a 2 hour nap, and sometime it can be as short as 30 minutes. When we get really lucky, we get TWO 2-hour naps. Score!!!

Mom's happy...I'm happy! That's how we roll around here.

2. I'm actually getting more comfortable leaving Jackson for DATE NIGHTS, or for a couple hours while I hit up the gym, or if I have a baby shower to go to or whatever. Yes, you read the first part right. Date night.

Karl and I went to a wine tasting event last Saturday. 55 wines. Can I get a whoa? Can I get an AWESOME??? Because that's pretty much what it was. AWESOME. Hell yes I'm still breast feeding, but I'm smart when it comes to drinking. I don't need to get wasted (i.e. try all 55 wines), nor do I want to because I need to be alert at all times and can't afford to feel like dong (especially when I bring it upon myself). I still had a blast. Lil' sip here and there and I felt like Karl and I were two kids just having a grand ol' time. We went out for dinner after and I left feeling like I had one of the best nights in a long time. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law watched Jackson. I had absolutely no fears because they are SO good with Jackson and love him to pieces and...well...sis-in-law is a nurse. That helps:)

Date night! Can I get a wha? wha?

But we're back to going to our weekly wine tasting events and Karl is back to bringing home craft beers for us to try. I find this fun. Hey, it's the little things. He's entering a couple of his own home-brew in a contest as I type!

3. I still don't get my 3-5 workouts in a week. Boo. Yes, I hear you. I could get up early, but Jackson is getting up between 3:00 and 5:00 a.m. still. This mom chooses sleep. I get maybe one or two workouts in during the week, BUT when I do workout, it's serious business. I feel like I workout hard enough that I don't spaz when I only get 1 or 2 workouts in a week like the old Christie would. I'm sure my heart is begging for more, but with the weather 0 degrees right now, I can't take Jackson out. I tell myself winter is a time for reflection and rest. I have all spring, summer and fall to get crazy outside. It's still pretty dark when we get home from work right now. So I chase Jackson around the house and count that as a heart pumping good time. Plus, I try to laugh a lot...makes me feel better. We do a lot of going up the stairs around here! And squats.

Better known as the "star" child

Working on my tool bench here. No big deal.

4. Still a HUGE advocate about healthy eating. I think this helps me not be so hard on myself when I can't get a workout in. I'm fueling my body, as well as my family's, with really good food. I'm learning more about all the good foods out there and what their benefits are and so on. I love educating myself on all the great healthy options out there. Yep, still making ALL Jackson's foods, though I'm starting to step away from only pureeing foods. He's now feeding himself broccoli, kiwi, avocados, pees... Are you seeing a trend here? He has a thing for GREEN food. OK, so we broke apart one of the homemade cinnamon oatmeal pancakes we made and Jackson devoured it. For some reason he doesn't totally enjoy chopped bananas and apples, but loves them in his porridge. Speaking of porridge, I did make some super porridge for him (organic brown rice and green lentils blended and boiled). I mix in kale and spoon feed that to him. We tried adding tahini (sunflower seeds liquefied...is that a word?). OK. I'm all about healthy foods, but that stuff is kind of gross tasting. An acquired taste for SURE. I don't blame Jackson for turning his nose up to that one. Uff-dah! 

Warning: Healthy Food Ahead

Mmmmmm!

5. I'm starting to learn that Jackson would much rather play with household items than toys. I gave him an empty oatmeal container and he played with that for days. Measuring cups = awesome. Paper towel rolls and empty wrapping paper rolls = let the fun begin. Pulling every single Ziploc bag out of their boxes = sweet. HE LOVES watching me cook. I think it's the sounds, smells and steam that really pull him in.

Love this oatmeal container!

Any way I can make noise around here, I'm in!

Future drummer maybe?

6. I think one of the hardest adjustments for me was not getting to spend as much quality time with Karl as we once had. We did everything together. Spent tons of time together. And never got sick of one another. How does that work??? We were simple. As in simply loved doing NOTHING together and making the best of it. Or we'd go on these amazing trips around the world or country and had a blast together. We could be anywhere, do anything, and have the best time ever. But a baby kind of throws a wrench in all that. A good wrench though! There's been a lot of balancing our time and schedules and Jackson always comes first. I wouldn't want it any other way, but it's hard to carve out time to talk about our days or maybe one of us gets the spotlight for the night and gets to talk about their day at work and the other doesn't. Keyword here is: talking. MUST COMMUNICATE.

I run this house! You have a problem with that?

Our Karl and Christie evening starts around 8:30. The thing is, I start to crawl into bed around that time. I'M STILL trying to catch up on sleep. BUT, I feel like we're getting some evenings to ourselves again and I LOVE that. The other night I got a little sad when I looked at the time and thought, wow...we get all but an hour together. Yet, I made the BEST of that hour in my mind. I lived in the moment and soaked up as much Karl time as I could get.

Once a baby comes, every single aspect of your life and how you once operated, changes. But, I promise...all for the better. The reason I say this is because I remember when it was just me and Karl. We'd have our set television shows to watch and our weekends planned out - the friends we were going to hang out with, family we were going to see, trips we were going to take, etc. Yet, things kind of always felt predictable to me. Not to say that was bad by any means. Maybe comfortable is the right word? I knew what to expect and over time there was just a little piece missing. Like I KNEW there needed to be something more there or else we'd get too used to each other or our routine. But wasn't totally sure how to get there... And then came Jackson. There was that piece that made us whole.

Challenging. Crazy. Insane. But all the while awesome. Get what I'm saying here?

In short (OK...not so short): Sometimes we get caught up in the insanity of life. No, there is never enough time to catch up. To have it all together. But there is something bigger going on in our lives. I call it the big picture. And sometimes we just have to throw up our hands and let things fall into place. Yes, we have free will. We get to make choices and decisions daily, but sometimes we're lost. We don't know what to do. We're frustrated. We're at our whits end. What are we supposed to be doing? Are we doing the right thing? Can't time just slow down and we get this sh*t figured out before the next event is thrown in our face? The answer is no. And once a baby comes, those events are slapping you in the face daily, sometimes hourly. They are beating down your door.

My guess is most of us want to try to control everything. I know I do. But it's when we FINALLY put our trust and faith in the words...everything will work out in the end, we BREATHE for a second. Our shoulders fall. Our jaws loosen. And we live in the moment. We've done it before. We can do it again. When have things not worked out? Or if they didn't, it was probably for the best. Right? Or at least, there was a lesson there. We grew... Maybe spiritually, emotionally, etc. The keyword here is WE GREW!

7. Oh, and I went to Target WITH Jackson. High fives and fist pounds, folks. Just took me 9 months to do it. But I did it. Jackson was in shock. Said "Ohh" to everyone and everything, but I left with an extra hop in my step. I DID IT.

Mom. Where the heck are we?? I've never seen such a place!

Like I said. It's the little things. Pretty sure this mom is going to make it!

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